3 Tales from the Bijou Pool at Tahoe

I: Priorities

PP’s so excited to be back in South Lake Tahoe and headed for the Bijou Pool. Swimming under the pines. Under the bright moon. In her own lane....

Until…..She gets there and whoa!

It’s crowded!

What the hell is up with that? When she’d swam here before it'd been calm and empty. Tonight there’re at least two swimmers in each lap lane and a full group of ‘water aerobics’ women taking up the rest of the pool.

Plus it was freezing!

Of course this is to be expected. After all, she was in the high sierras. But still……how could there be so many swimmers in such cold conditions?

The Tahoe swimmers must be a hardy bunch.

She dives in, sharing a lane with two other women, then one gets out and she’s just splitting a lane with Tattoo Bikini Jockette. She’s not such a great swimmer, kinda crooked and splashy, but hell she looks good and isn’t that at least some of what swimming is about?

Afterwards in the locker room, still freezing after her hot shower (and yes, thankfully it was hot), PP watches as one of the Water Aerobic Women attempts to detangle her hair. “Oh, bother!” she exclaims, chuckling.

“Yeah,” PP grins, “that’s the hard part for me. The tangles.”
“Yes, well…” She sighs, continuing to tug at her wet tresses. “For awhile I colored the grey, but then I decided not to bother.”

PP had been admiring the color. The grays and whites and blacks all streaked together. “It’s wonderful as it is!”


WAW smiles, slowly, then shakes her head, “Well, I decided that really it was more important for me to worry about losing weight before I worried about the color of my hair.”

They both laugh, even though PP always feels a bit self-conscious 'round dieting women, being slim herself. Yet it did seem that the priorities were something WAW had thought about. “I’ve already lost 37 pounds!” she exclaims, beaming.
“That’s great!” PP says. “The water exercise helps, I bet!”
“Oh yes, it does. Though I need to come more often. I try to make it 3 times a week but…..”
“It’s cold!” PP offers.
She frowns. Then shrugs. “Yes, I suppose. Though that’s not what stops me. I just seem to have a hard time getting here is all.”
“I get that!” PP laughs. “Especially if you’re coloring your hair.”
“Remember! I was gonna hold off on that!” she grins, collecting her stuff off the bench and packing it up.
“Have a nice evening,” she calls back to PP as she exits the room.
“Thanks, you too,” PP says, as she heads to the mirror and begins the arduous process of her own detanglement.

II. Sharing





Night two at the Bijou Pool. This night is not as crowded. DHBF has dropped PP off for her swim so he can go to the store for dinner supplies (See why she keeps him around? Chauffeur, Shopper and Chef all wrapped into one handsome package!)

But again, it’s COLD! So PP has to snag a lane lickety-split before she loses her nerve (Actually the water itself is fine, she guesses 'bout 82 degrees, but the air? It’s heading for that low of 34 that’ll it’ll reach later)

One person swims in each of the three lanes. A flopping on his back elderly gent. A speedy bikini woman (What is it with the Tahoe bikinis? PP knows that these racing suits are made but it’s been awhile since she’s seen them—no one at the YMCA dons such attire), and finally, a bald headed guy. (Isn’t his head cold, she wonders)

PP chooses the bikini woman (naturally). “Excuse me, can I share the lane with you?”
BW stares up at PP through her foggy goggles, nods and then smiles. “You can have the lane.” She dives under the lane line to join Bald Swimmer. “We’re together.”

“Really?” PP is astounded. No one ever deserts her lane at the YMCA. Everyone clings to the lane if she’s lucky enough to have scored one to herself. Then don’t look at the person wanting to get in and share. Don’t wait at the wall and ask if they want to join. Let alone offer to hand over the lane.

So, PP is completely happily surprised by such gracious generosity. Is it something to do with the Alpine Air?

Maybe, as she hops into the lane and zooms down it gleefully by herself.
Or maybe it just has to do with the fact that the two of them really are ‘together’.



III By Myself





She’s only about 6? Maybe 7? Tadpoling down the center of the lane on the last night that PP is in Tahoe. Her bright red flowered suit reminiscent of a tropical fish.

Okay, PP thinks. A kid. But this kid seems serious. She’s really swimming laps.

There’s a bunch of kids in the other half of the pool tonight instead of the Water Aerobic Women. But none of them are swimming laps. They’re all just doing the usual kid stuff: screaming, splashing, fighting.

But Red Suit Girl will have none of this. When she stops at the wall, PP asks if she can share her lane. She nods, smiles shyly and then takes off back down the lane doing a mighty underwater breaststroke.

As PP swims, she notices that the kid keeps on going, rarely stopping. But at one point they are both at the wall turning, so PP praises her, “You’re a really good swimmer!”
She beams.
“Are you on a swim team?”
“No.”
“Me neither,” PP says. “Do you like to swim alone?”
“Yeah,” she nods, her eyes sparkling.
“Me too,” PP grins.

And she watches Swim Alone Kid take off again, reminding PP of herself at that age, swimming back and forth and back and forth for what seemed like hours in the wonderful backyard pool of Hacienda Heights, reveling in the solitary freedom of it.

Which is part of what swimming is all about. Where else can you be immersed in the floating deliciousness of the water, surrounded by only its embrace, even if you're sharing with a fellow lap swimmer or a like-minded kid, and still feel completely and blissfully alone?

Nowhere.

PP grins to herself as she plunges after Swim Alone Kid, enjoying the company, the moon, and herself in the beautiful Pool Bijou....

Channeling Esther

“That’s a BEAUTIFUL breaststroke you have there!”

PP continues her Esther Williams backstroke. She’s been practicing this elegant pretence since seeing Esther in Neptune’s Daughter. Esther swims gracefully, effortlessly around in coy circles as Ricardo Montabahn proclaims his undying love for her. Of course, Esther is safe in her little pool. Until Ricardo threatens to dive in after her……




Don’t worry, PP is not going to give away the entire scene!

But the reality is that PP’s backstroke is a pale imitation of Esther’s. It’s never been her forte. The only way she can do it at all, besides channeling Esther, is by donning her big fins to help keep her afloat.





“HELLO!!!!” Breaststroke Mistake Woman hollers more loudly at PP. “I said, ‘You have a BEAUTIFUL breaststroke!’”

PP stops at the wall and grins over at the pale eager moon face, eyes shining, nodding in rapt admiration.

PP wonders….should she tell BMW that she’s actually swimming the backstroke?

Nah, PP just nods, smiles sweetly, “Thanks,” and, then dives under the water for her favorite stroke: The Breaststroke.

Gram Swims Backwards!

“Soon, you’ll be swimming, Gram!” PP jokes as she stares down at her Gram, so small and frail in her pile of pillows after her harrowing 'episode' in the hospital last week. Now she’s home, resting at Uncle Joe’s as PP, DHBF and Ruthie (PP’s mom) visit.

Gram laughs, her bright blue eyes twinkling behind her wire-rimmed glasses. “Oh, no!” she giggles, “I don’t swim.”
“Yes you do,” PP asserts. “Don’t you remember?”
Gram shakes her head. The ‘episode’ of the last week has taken a toll on her. Not just her memory, though this is what seems to bother her the most,but her entire self, body and soul has shrunk dramatically.

Of course, this is to be expected. Still PP can’t help but be so very sad that her Gram may be …….

But tonight, Gram is in fine form. Why, PP’s jokes were welcome and definitely encouraged.

“I don’t remember ever swimming!” Gram exclaims.
“Well, you did,” PP grins. “Remember our pool in Hacienda Heights?”
Gram nods, “Yes, I do.”
“Well, I remember one afternoon, you came in the water with me and Paula and Laura (PP's sisters) and we were all laughing so hard because you were swimming backwards!”
“I was?” Gram shakes her head, smiling.
“Yup. It was really funny. We were all in the water and urging you to swim towards us, but whenever you took a stroke for some reason you went backwards instead of forwards!”
Gram laughs, “That’s just what I’m doing now!”

They all laugh. It’s true. Gram’s ‘backwards memory’ of the past is crystal clear. She remembers the color and pattern of the dress she wore (green with black dots) and who was there (her brothers Wilfred and Wycliffe and their wives and children all of whom she can list off--- on the other hand, PP can’t remember them at all!); where they were (at the ranch in Oak Glen) and the time of day (it was late afternoon, round 4 p.m. before mom got supper ready….)All of this taking place over 50 or 60 years ago.


PP marvels at this memory of the past. Esp. since her memory is so awful. She can barely remember what she had for breakfast that morning even though it was only 3 hours ago and even though she always eats the same thing!

But the swimming backwards memory seems to be PP’s alone. Gram has no recollection of it, though she does believe it.
“Well, if you say that I swam backwards, then I swam backwards!” she laughs, shaking her head and staring up at PP from her throne of soft pillows. Her look is long and loving. PP stares back, trying not to cry.

The memory of swimming backwards does help with tear prevention.

If only PP could use this strategy for all of her tearful inclinations!

“Did I tell you about the time that your Aunt Nancy saved your cousin Leora from drowning?” Gram begins, launching into another story.
“No, I’ve never heard that one!” PP encourages, taking Gram’s frail hand into her own.
Gram grips her hand tightly as she begins, “Leora was just a little girl. Oh! She must have been only 7 or 8 years old and your Aunt Nancy, you know how she was such a good swimmer, she saw that Leora was in trouble and so she raced out to the middle of the lake and…..”





Tears start to well up in PP’s eyes, but she wipes them away.

This is no time for weeping!

After all, Gram has a story! Leora is going to be saved by Aunt Nancy!

And Gram's story will certainly save PP....

Expansion

The Ugly Stick had bonked the hot tub at the Berkeley Y big time!

PP keeps swimming in the freezing B Y pool. She hates this pool. It’s always cold! But it was the only choice since the stupid Oakland Y closed their pool and in fact the entire facility for the week—so DL and PP had ventured into the land known as Bezerkely.

Now, trying to keep her muscles from completely freezing up on her, PP keeps an eye on the hot tub. Yet…..like she said, the Ugly Stick had been working overtime. At least a dozen Ugly Stick Men were lounging about in the tub, their scraggly beards wet and stringy, their paunchy stomachs hairy and wet, their….

Okay you get the idea.

PP doesn’t want to make you sick.
(What is it about Berkeley and the Ugly Stick? Later in Utopia, PP mentions this to DL and she just nods and pronounces: “It’s the Smug Lack of Hygiene Aspect.”)

Yup. PP doesn’t want to take a hot tub with this Aspect, yet no one seems to be leaving and she’s getting colder and colder and colder till, finally she has to get out of the pool and venture over to the tub.

Is there room for her?

She’s super cold and afraid. Wishes that DL were with her, but knows that DL had had enough of the Berkeley Male Aspect. Earlier they’d ventured up to the Free Weights room, had stood at the door, staring in at the torture machines, unsure if this was the right spot. A Berkeley Groovy Guy with snow white hair and too tall legs in too short shorts sneaks up behind them. “You can go in!” he exclaims. “We can?” PP asks. Like they need his permission? “Absolutely!” he cries and then opens the door for them. DL gives PP a look like she’s gonna explode.





PP remembers this look from the first time she met DL at Polar Bear ice cream on 4th of July when the line was out the door and all the idiot tourists couldn’t make up their minds if they wanted a ‘sugar cone or a natural cone.’



So, tonight, with this look, DL and PP go into the Free Weight room, Too Tall Absolutely Man heads in ahead of them, ignoring them now. “What a sexist!” DL hisses. PP laughs, but knows that it’s serious really. Berkeley. So politically correct?





“He’s a Fem Perv” DL asserts later in Utopia.

What an apt description. Only a Poet Feminist would come up with this.

Anyway, back to the hot tub full of many Fem Pervs no doubt, PP climbs in, squeezing between a withered African American Hot Tub Elder and a pasty goat teed pasty blob.
UGH!

“The gang is all here, my man!” AAHTE calls out to no one in particular. PP smiles in spite of her discomfort. Glad that she wasn’t really a part of this gang on a regular basis. One night was enough as she watches an emaciated Santa Claus pontificate as only Bekeleites can do about the lack of education in ……blah blah blah….

PP really misses Aquatopia in Oakland with the hilarious naked ladies that are familiar territory. It’s hard to be in a new place.

And so it is that they don’t know anyone and no one really talks to them till they’re getting dressed at the end of the night, PP trying to gather all of her crap up out of her locker, off the floor, out of the towel, DL lying comatose on the bench when a Pleasant Pasty Woman lumbers into their aisle.

Hurriedly PP tries to move all of her shit. “Sorry, I don’t need to be takin' up the entire bench,” she apologizes.
“That’s ok,” PPW nods, watching as PP piles her Swim a Mile bag to the brim.
“Your stuff does not all fit in your bag,” PPW observes.
“Yeah, why is that?” PP laughs. “It expands. Must be the wet swimsuit.”
She nods, understanding. “And your fins. They don’t fit in your bag?”
“Nah, I have to carry them. The expansion is too much.”



She laughs.
“And the expanded weight is so hard for me to carry,” PP grins, “esp. since I’ve gotten smaller!”
They all laugh, even DL who’s woken up from her coma.

Later, walking to the car, DL comments on PP’s ‘joke’ and how before this exchange they hadn’t talked to anyone. “But I guess we don’t know anyone here at Berkeley,” she muses.

“We know Laughing at Expansion Woman!” PP exclaims.
DL laughs.
”And Fem Perv Man!”

DL wrinkles her nose, “Where’d you park?”
Laughing, PP points to the Geo down the block as they head toward DL’s car.

Outlaw Lifeguard Take II!

The Outlaw Lifeguard has a broken nose! What does it mean?

PP asks DL her opinion of course, and DL comes up with the perfect answer: he got in a fight.
And with whom?
Tatiana naturally. She found out that he’d been letting lap swimmers use the water walker lane behind her back and ‘wham’ –he’d got his comeuppance!

PP can just imagine:

Miffed and angry, Tatiana confronts Outlaw Lifeguard: “I know what you’ve been doing behind my back.”
“What?" OL grins, sheepish, slightly belligerent.
“I think you know.”
“No, really, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t play games with me.”





“I’m not playing games. I honestly don’t know what you’re referring to.”
She eyes him, exasperated, “It has to do with the water walking lane.”
He tries to withhold a smirk. “The water walking lane? What about it?”
She sighs deeply, trying to keep her cool, but it’s hard. He’s such a smart ass. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”




“I wish you would,” he taunts.

She tries to keep from screaming, “You’ve been letting the lap swimmers SWIM in the Water Walking Lane when the rules expressly prohibit it! I told you! No swimmers in the Water Walkers Lane. Is that so hard to understand? All I’m trying to do here is follow the rules and you go behind my back! You allow certain swimmers to use the lane that is ONLY for the water walkers.”

“Certain swimmers?” He grins, “I have no idea who you mean.”
“You know exactly who I mean. I told her too that she couldn’t swim there and then I leave!..... but before I go.....I...." Tatiana pauses, trying to control herself, but it's all too much. "...I look out the window from upstairs and there SHE is, swimming in the water walkers lane! It’s against the RULES! I told her that! And I told you that!”
He shakes his head, chuckles softly, “Hell, I don’t get why she can’t swim there. It’s just an empty lane to me.”
“JUST AN EMPTY LANE!!!!” she cries.

BAM!




Tatiana lets him have it. OL reels from her blow, clutching at his face, “Oww….” as his nose starts to bleed. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“Believe it, Buster! I’d take care of that now, if I was you,” she says, turning away, shaken, but pleased.

He grins. Slowly. She’s a feisty one, he thinks to himself. I like that.

Then wiping the blood on his sleeve, he smiles to himself, before heading into the locker room to clean up.

Will he obey T’s punch? Or will he continue to follow his outlaw tendencies?

Stay tuned for more developments.

Same swim time.
Same swim channel
Same Feisty Russian.
Same Smart Ass Outlaw?

Like a Mermaid….

It was unexpected Bliss. For 20 minutes and then…..

PP had fully braced herself for total mayhem at Hilltopia. Tuesday nights seemed to draw flailing families like moths to a burning building.

But yet, when she arrived. Miracle of miracles! An open lane!

Would wonders never cease?

Delighted, she plunged in, washing away the 111 degree heat from her day in Unpleasant Hell.

Yet, it was not to last. 3 lanes were designated for lap swimmers when she arrived, then two. Then one was taken away by the Big Boss, noting the piling up of families squashed together in ¼ of the pool did indeed present some sort of hazard--like maybe no one could tell if a small child were being trampled on till it was too late?

So she shared a lane now. With Bulky Swimmer Chick. Who knew what she was about. It was fine. Until turning at the wall, PP spied a slow moving Asian woman swimming directly toward her from the opposite end of the pool. No clue about communicating she was joining the lane; therefore, the concept of circle swimming?

Forget it.

PP glanced over at the lane next to her. For a few minutes it’d been a father and his son, not swimming laps in the lap swimming lane.

What the hell was up with that?

PP decided that such use of a lap lane in the crowded mayhem was unacceptable. Hailing the Bored Blondie Lifeguard, PP asked if she could swim in the father/son lane. BBL explained something to PP. PP couldn't understand cuz of her earplugs. But got the idea that it was okay for her to swim with the father/son. They’ll split the lane with her.

Diving under the lane line, PP wondered why this kid/father were being allowed to do what they’re doin in the lap lane instead of the mayhem pandemonium of the family swim side. Did the kid hate the noise? Did he have fear of crowds?

Both of these PP understood, but at the same time she thought, ‘If you can’t stand the heat, get outta the frying pan!" In other words, if the kid couldn’t handle the pandemonium, then why was he here at all? Why was he getting special treatment?

Yet as PP passed them, she noticed that something was off. The kid was larger, puffy, flopping. The 'wrongness' was subtle, but still there was something up.

Yet, being the privileged lap swimmer that she was, PP just didn’t get why they were being allowed in the lap lane.

Until stopping at the wall, the father grinned over at her, inviting questioning.
“Is your son afraid of the noise?” PP asked.
He smiled bigger. Shook his head. Muttered something in Spanish.

Shit. Here is yet another instance where PP really wishes she knew Spanish. It’s so stupid to grow up in California and not even know enough Spanish to have a conversation about swimming.

Which is all she’d want to use the language for to be honest.

The father stared at PP, smiling still, then used a practiced phrase of English that he must have to say all the time, “My son, he is Autistic.”





Oh…duh! PP felt so goddamn stupid now. Why the hell didn’t this occur to her? And autistic kids, while she knew little about the condition, were most certainly unable to deal with the general mayhem of all the flailing families in the other half of the pool.

“Today…” the father continued, “it is so hot.”

PP nodded, “Oh, yeah, it was! And I’m sure your son wanted to swim to cool off, right?”
Too much language for the father, but he got the idea. PP had communicated that she was okay with the kid sharing the lane now.

So all was well and PP finished the last of her swim while the father guided Autistic Son along the second half of the lane.

Now PP could see that the kid was acting 'autistic'? His tongue hung out, sometimes licking the water. The father had to pull him up abruptly to discourage this probably involuntarily behavior. The kid had no clue that he was to stay on one side of the lane so PP could swim on the other half. The father had to constantly pull him out of her way. Usually in time, but she did have to stop a few times to avoid a collision.

Of course, normally, this woulda pissed her off. To stop. But hell, the kid was autistic, the day had been hot and besides PP was expecting mayhem anyway.

She still got a swim in. Which is all that mattered.

As she got ready to get out, the father had handed over the son to mom. She was in the lane now, pulling the kid along while the father sat on the deck grinning at PP.
Quick Spanish between the two. “He want to know,” the mother translated, “You swim one hour?”
Laughing, PP shook her head, “Nah, 45 minutes.”
Translating again. “And he want to know, you swim every day?”
“No…no…just 3 or 4 times a week.”
PP heard ‘Tres, Quattro…” and got this. She had learned how to count to 10 in Spanish in Jr. High.
“Yes, Tres, Quattro” PP repeated, grinning at her stupid Spanish abilities.
More back and forth between the two and then the mother beamed over at PP, “He say, you swim like a Mermaid!”




The father nodded, eyeing PP appreciatively.
“Thanks,” PP grinned, genuinely flattered even though she's heard this before. It’s not a new bit of praise. But it delighted her even more tonight. Because of the language? Because of the Autism? Because of the heat?

She just wished, afterward, that she’d found out the word for “Mermaid” in Spanish.

It’d be a nice addition to her ability to count from 1 to 10, don’t you agree?

Outlaw Lifeguard

“Can I swim in That Lane?” PP nods toward the empty (and previously forbidden to lap swimmers—see last blog entry) water walkers lane, grinning expectantly. Stringy Grey Haired Spaz Man had just jumped into her lane and she was drowning.

Tatiana smiles, shakes her head emphatically. “Oh, no, no, NO,” she repeats three times. “I can’t let you do that.”

PP knows she knows that PP knows that no lap swimmers are allowed in the Water Walkers Lane. But PP was gonna give it a go anyway.

“But I got to last week!” PP cries, as SGHSM turns at the wall and sprays her mightily.
Tatiana continues to shake her head, “Maybe if you guys were circle swimming, I’d be okay with it, but nah, not now.”
PP shrugs. So, the rule was only in place unless there was circle swimming? This was the point of subversion? PP decides not to pursue it though. She actually likes T. She’s cute and smart and pays attention. Something that most of the lifeguards here at the Oakland YMCA don’t do.

Except for the Cute and Smarter New Lifeguard that let PP swim in the WWL last week. He’s watching the whole scene unfold with Tatiana; PP feels this. Should she call him into the fray?

Nah, it’s not worth it. If Tatiana wants to stick to the ‘rules’ then so be it. It all makes for a funny story anyway.

So resigned, PP tries to swim. But now Splasher Flipper Man gets in on her other side and all of a sudden she’s experiencing every swimmer’s nightmare—Splash Sandwich. Damn! And with that Empty Lane beckoning her.





Yet PP presses on. What can she do? Though it seems so very very very stupid stupid stupid. There’s an empty lane. No water walkers in sight. (And if one did happen into the lane, of course PP would move).

But yet, tonight, unlike last week, PP can’t swim there because of the Tatiana and the “Rules.”

Turning at the wall, PP catches out of the corner of her eye, Tatiana now dressed in street clothes. Black trousers, black shirt—she’s off!

And as soon as she’s gone…..

Cute and Smarter Lifeguard heads over to PP’s lane, catches her at the wall, squats down and grins, “You can swim over there now.”
“Really?” PP is beyond delight. Not only does she get to swim in the Water Walking Lane, but she’s part of a subversive lifeguard/swimmer cohort.
“But she said I couldn’t. That it’d be breaking the rules.”
He shakes his head, grins broadly. “Yeah.”
“Do you know why it’s a rule anyway?”
“Nah,” he pauses, considering. “To me it’s just an empty lane. You’d hafta ask my boss.”





“And now she’s gone!” PP grins.
“Yeah,” he laughs, rising. “Besides,” he nods toward SGHM, “he’s a little erratic.”


A little erratic? Well that’s one way of putting it! Not only is this lifeguard an Outlaw, ignoring the rules by undermining his boss’s authority first chance he gets, but he also has a good vocabulary!

Delighted with it all, PP dives into the forbidden lane. Swims happily in the smooth water, relishing her freedom from the Splash Sandwich even though in the back of her mind she’s worried. What if Tatiana comes back and finds her breaking the rules? Would she turn in Outlaw Lifeguard? Blame him for her blatant disregard for Tatiana's authority and the Y's 'rules'?

Of course not.

PP would just shrug. Tell Tatiana that it was all her idea. That she was just testing the waters.

Oh, the thrill of it all.

Breaking the rules at the Y never felt so invigorating. PP hasn't done this in awhile. Such wildness! Such abandon! Such daring!

But hey, all you out there who know Tatiana. You better not tell or else...

PP is gonna sick the Outlaw Lifeguard on you!

3 stories in 1!

I.

Claremont Days






“We may be able to swim in the eye of the storm.”

PP grins, delighted as always, by her best friend from Jr. High (Can you believe it? Jr. High?!). JB, or Banana,who has a knack for what? Trying to make the best out of a conceivably bad swimming situation?

It’s Claremont Days at her pool. This happens just one day a year here in San Diego and of course this is the day that PP and DHBF are visiting. PP doesn’t really believe that it will be the mayhem that Banana is foreseeing. Every time she’s gone to this ‘Claremont Pool’ in the past it’s been nothing but lovely, warm and EMPTY! (Every swimmer’s dream!)

Yet today, according to B, the festivities at Claremont Day may take over the pool. “Though maybe no one will be swimming laps,” B muses.

So they head up the hill in B’s racy little Audi and PP can’t believe what she sees in the field surrounding the pool. Actually she’s never even noticed a field before—but today, it’s packed with merry-go-round, spinning barfing ride, frog will toss you ride, cotton candy booth, and…




But the pool?

B was right. No one was swimming laps. So the eye of the storm was a calm and peaceful swim. The water warm. The sky blue. The fears unfounded.

And so they all swim. B and PP and DHBF, but finish at different times-- B swimming the longest –3000 yards! ‘She’s a real athlete” DHBF observes.
Uh, yeah, PP thinks to herself, wondering where her own athleticism has vanished to.

So when PP and B meet in the locker-room, happy with their eye of the storm swims, they dress and then head out to find DHBF.

He’s nowhere to be found. Not at the car. Not on the pool deck. Not in front of the building.

“I bet he’s at the fair,” PP smiles.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” B agrees, leading the way to the scary circus like situation.

PP follows with considerable trepidation. She loathes crowds. Her crowdaphobia worsens with each passing year.

But at Claremont Days, there’s a Draw. And DHBF has already found it.





Dancing Girls!
They’re on the portable stage. First tap dancers in hot pink hot pants. Then Bollywood in silks and slippers. Then more tap dancers in turquoise bellbottoms.





It’s hilarious, charming and completely unexpected.

Relief spreading over her, PP’s so glad that they were able to swim in the eye of the storm and then brave the storm of the storm to watch the Dancing Girls.

Who knew that swimming at Claremont Days could be such an entertaining venture?

PP’s pretty sure that Banana knew this.

But just didn’t let on…..

II.

Swimming in the Fast Lane

“You can swim in the Water Walking Lane till a Water Walker comes,” the New Blond Lifeguard at the Oakland Y tells PP when she arrives out on the deck, perplexed and spaced out for her Wed night swim.

WHAT!!!!???? she screams to herself. She can swim laps in the water walking lane? Since when? Has there been a change in policy?

PP can recall many a time when intense altercations occurred from some lap swimmer trespassing into the Water Walkers domain. Stringy Haired Splash Man yelling at two lifeguards, trying to convince them that “There is no Walker here! Why can I no swim here? It is ridiculous.”

But to no avail. He was booted out and banned from the pool and….

Okay, maybe not banned, but he wasn’t allowed to swim laps in the water walking lane.

So tonight, when PP is actually TOLD that she CAN swim in the forbidden lane, she shivers a little in bewildered anticipation. Should she really swim there? But yet....the lifeguard said she could and so…..

WHAT the hell ever. She does! And in she plunges, thrilled at her own lane (no one else can share; there’s a ladder for the walkers blocking the other half)

As she swims, PP revels in her good fortune. But also, isn't the forbidden always more exciting? PP feels all the other swimmers' eyes on her. What is she doing swimming in the water walkers lane? Doesn’t she know that it’s not allowed? She can hear the Group Think.

But yet, nothing happens to her. No admonishments from the lifeguards. No sudden dunking by Stringy Grey Hair Splasher when he sees her.

It’s a fantasy come true!

Plus no water walkers ever appear. PP swims and swims and swims without sharing a lane or circle swimming like everyone else.






She wants to avoid feeling smug, but yet…she does!

After, she wonders, Was it only a one time fluke? Will the same lifeguard be there next Wed and let her swim in the WWL?

Or was it all just a dream?



III.

Stick Legs

DL and PP collapse in Utopia after their respective workouts. PP still on swimmer’s cloud 9 from her privileged water walker swim.

The Africa Women are in heavy gossip mode. Diabetes Woman and her brood. They’re jabbering away, but DW always friendly, wants to include DL and PP.

“You swim?” she asks PP.
“Oh, yes….” PP grins. “Did you?”
”Me?” DW shakes her head. “No. I do machines one hour five day a week. I lose lot of weight! See?”

She pulls at the rolling folds of lose skin round her mid- section. Where’s the weight loss, PP wonders.
“79 pounds!” she exclaims, then lifts a leg up to survey. “But see?” she points at her calf, lean and thin, “Stick Leg. Africa Women. We not like Stick Leg. We like big Butts and….”





Her cohorts burst into loud giggles, slapping their non stick legs and bending over their wide bellies in utter hilarity.

DL laughs too. She’s a good audience for all of the entertainment at Utopia. PP, on the other hand, always has to make some sort of banal comment to keep the conversation rolling.
“Your legs are like that cuz that’s your body shape,” she offers. “Do you know what I mean?”
DW eyes her for a moment, considering. Then nods. “Sure, sure. The Stick Legs, they are my Body. But my butt….”
And again more giggles till DW shrugs as the lights are turned out. “Time to go, I guess,” PP observes.
DW shakes her head, “No. Time to go in Steam Room.”

And PP and DL grin as they watch the stick legs walk out of Utopia and into Steamtopia.

Epilogue

Stick legs--are they the theme? Or is it just legs in general?

Dancers' legs.
Swimmers' legs.
Africa legs.

PP is stuck on the word 'legs'---it looks really funny written out so many times. Just four little letters, but why so funny?

PP thinks it's time to go to lunch. So much leg profundity is making her hungry!

Tears in Utopia

“Hey, you have children?” Hot Tub Mama glances up at the Serene Spacey Woman sitting on the bench above her. Do they know each other? PP wonders. The question seems to come out of the blue, but after all it is HTM, the Queen of non sequiturs.

“One son,” SSW answers, eyes half closed, in deep Utopian rapture.

“How many children?” HTM repeats, demanding. Didn’t she hear SSW’s answer?

SSW opens her eyes. Stares down at HTM calmly, “One SON!” she repeats, a little louder, a little less patience.
“No daughters?” HTM’s heard the one son answer now. But it wasn’t what she was hoping for?
“ONE SON!” This time SSW shakes her head, then grins. “How about you? How many children do you have?”
“5!” HTM exclaims. “2 son. 3 daughter.”
“That’s a lot of children,” SSW observes.
“That’s a lot of problem!” HTM grunts.

All the women in Utopia chuckle. They share in HTM’s attitude.
“You?” HTM turns to PP who’s been sitting next to her, watching the show.
“Me?”
“How many children?”
PP laughs, “Zero.”
HTM raises her shaved eyebrows. “No children?”
“Nope.”
“Why not you have children?”
“I don’t like them. Or…..” PP reconsiders this response. “It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I don’t think I could raise them.... be responsible. It’s too much for me. And so, I unlike you, I have NO problems." PP giggles.

HTM doesn't, thinking. “My children. They need me. They use me….” Her voice trails off, quiet.

Sensing something is brewing, PP tries to offer a positive answer even though this goes against her nature. “Well, need is good, right?”
HTM is silent for a moment. Then repeats. “They use me…”
“How?” PP asks, unsure of how to wade into this children using mother territory. Is it a common Ethiopian cultural thing maybe? “Do they ask you to baby-sit their kids? Your grand kids?”

HTM shakes her head. Tears spring into her eyes. Uncontrollably. Gushing down her round brown cheeks. The other women in the sauna all look away, embarrassed. One Son Woman gets up and walks out.





PP doesn’t know what to do. It’s such a surprise. One moment it all seems like a joke. The kids are a problem. The kids are no good. The kids are a headache. Then the next minute. The kids cause copious weeping. In public. In utopia.

PP really wishes that DL were here. To witness if nothing else. But for now, PP just tries to soothe, “Ohhh…. I’m sorry…,” she mutters unhelpfully as the tears continue to pour out, cascading down down down HTM's face. Futilely HTM tries to wipe them away, but they just keep coming. An endless stream.

Damn!

Yet another piece of evidence for PP that kids are a bad idea. They make you cry in Utopia. No one should cry in Utopia!

PP repeats that she’s so sorry. HTM nods, the tears starting to abate, tries for a smile. “It okay.”
“You okay?” PP asks.
“Yes, I’m okay. It’s okay.”

“Okay,” PP nods, heads out of the sauna, embarrassed, helpless. Was it her fault that HTM started to cry? Should she not have pursued the questions around the kids’ using her? What could they be using HTM for that was so horrible? Were they borrowing vast sums of money and not paying it back? Were they invading her home and making her cook and clean and laundry for them while they sat back and watched ESPN? Were they running shady businesses out of HTM’s living room?





What the hell could it be?

PP will never know cuz she sure as hell isn’t gonna ask again.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Later, after her shower, PP passes HTM sitting on the bench chatting amiably with the Serene Science Teacher. Like nothing had happened.

No tears.
No problems.
No kids.

Did PP imagine the whole incident? Were the tears not really there? Was HTM not really there? What was reality? What was fantasy?

What was Utopia?

A place without tears, problems or children.

At least for PP that is.

Thievery

“I tell you of this friend of mine. He is criminal. All of his life. He tell me he will always be criminal. He will always steal.”
“That is so sad.”
“It is, but he say it is all he know. That since he little boy, he steal.”
“And now he is grown, yes?”
“Oh, yes, he is a man now. But I tell you, I watch my stuffs around him. Even though he my friend.”

They laugh. PP stretches her arm up and over her head, the warm wood soaking into the sore muscles. She’s not going to participate today. It takes too much energy. But yet….

This resolve only lasts till Is So Sad Woman leaves. Friend of Criminal remains in Hilltopia. Alone with PP. So, the conversation must go on.

“I tell them upstair not to let children in here,” FOC scoffs.

PP sits up for this. She hates hates hates the kids in the women’s locker room.

“What did they say?” she asks. “You know, I also swim at Oakland, and no way do any kids even step foot into the women’s locker room. Those women would not stand for any screaming children in their domain!”
“They steal from me!”
“Really? What did they take?”
She glances through the glass window at her pink plastic Lily Wongs bag. “I not find anything missing. Yet.”
“So you saw them trying to take something?”
“Yes! I see them bending over my bag, going through it, and I chase them away. I say, 'HEY! YOU!! GET AWAY FROM THERE!'”
“And they ran away?”
“Oh, yes. But then when I go upstair to tell them about it, they ask me what they look like and I say, I don’t know. They have dark skin…..”




Her voice trails off. Does she know what she’s just slipped into? PP always finds it interesting how people of ‘minorities’ are often biased against each other. In this case, it’s an Asian woman being, dare PP say? racist? against ‘dark skinned’ children, presumably African American, but they could have been Mexican kids or Indian Kids…..or any number of ‘dark skinned’ races.

“Well,” PP nods, obviously she won’t point out the racism—way too taboo. Esp. since PP is a member of the golden blond race. Who also all look the same. Seen one blond, seen them all. “…..at least you were able to chase them off before they took anything.”




“That is true,” she agrees, sighing loudly, settling back into the warm wooden wall.
"Let's hope they don't make their lives one of Crime!" PP jokes.

But FOC turns toward her, nodding. "Yes. But if no one catch them, they get away with it, who know? They could be in Life of Crime."

"That would be so sad," PP repeats.

FOC nods, heaves another long sigh before PP rises and heads out of the sauna.

Sorry for the Inconvenience....

I

Trudging up the stairs to the Oakland Y, PP spies the signage on the door. Shit. It can’t be. She can’t even read it. How does she know it’s about an ‘emergency pool closure’?

Yet, she does. It’s a swimmer’s intuition. A pessimist's realism.

And sure enough. The sign says:

Attention:
Pool closed for emergency repairs.
Blah blah blah….
Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sorry for the inconvenience?


PP hates hates hates this! Like havin' the pool closed unexpectedly (again!) is an inconvenience?

No it’s life threatening! Don’t they know that without the scheduled swim on Wed., she’ll go absolutely stark raving mad?

Hell, if she’d known the pool was gonna be closed (which of course she didn’t, but more on that later) she woulda braved the Hilltopia Family Noodle Braining Mayhem on Tuesday. Now, she wouldn’t be able to swim till Friday! That’s 1, 2, 3, 4!!! days without swimming!

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!


“What happened to the pool?” PP asks the 13 year old clerks at the front counter.
“It’s the same thing,” one answers. “The pump needs to be replaced. But this time they’re gonna fix it.”
“Really?” PP nods, fighting back tears. Damn damn damn. She needs a swim!
“Yes. It’ll be fixed tomorrow.”
“That doesn’t help me tonight.”
They nod, sympathetic, and really PP can tell they are. One of them asks if she brought any other clothes to work out in. Yeah, she had, but she just wanted to be in the water. He nods, but does he get it?
PP thinks not.
II

DL runs into PP in the downstairs lobby on her way up to the ballroom (stretching area). PP's ready to cry and of course, DL gets it completely (unlike the clerks upstairs & even though she’s not a swimmer! No wonder they’ve been friends for 30 years!)

“I just wonder why it keeps happening here,” DL says. “It wouldn’t happen in Palo Alto, for instance.”
“Yeah, it never happens at Hilltop or Berkeley,” PP agrees, thinking.
“It’s something about Oakland and the resources. Something about this Urban Y that isn’t allocated the resources that the other Y’s are because it's Oakland.”
“Yeah….maybe you’re right,” PP agrees. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“We should write the BIG Boss and complain,” DL suggests.
“The pool manager?”
”NO, the BIG Boss of the YMCA in the Bay Area.”





“Oh….” PP’s voice trails off. She doesn’t have the energy for this right now. She’s gonna stand here in the lobby and start crying pretty soon.

“I think I have to just go home,” PP murmurs, leaning against the wall as sweat- clothed patrons pass by laughing, jostling. They're happy. They don't need a pool.
“Sure, whatever you need to do,” DL nods.

But PP decides not to go home. All she'd do there is cry, watch bad t.v.and eat microwaved food. How pathetic would that be? No. She's stronger than the Emergency Pool Closure. She'll show 'em!

And she does. Works out on the torture machines with DL, watches So You Think You Can Dance, fights her own nausea after DL points out a woman barfing.
"Oh no, someone got sick...."
"She barfed?"
DL just nods, stops her treadmill workout, trying not to watch the Barf Woman clean up her mess. But can't help it.
"I think it was a Sports Drink. Lime Green."
"GROOOOOSSSSS!"




PP so wishes she were in the pool. She's never in all the years she's been swimming seen anyone barf in the pool. Not to say that it doesn't happen, but then they'd close the pool and well you all know what happens next.

III
Later, talking with Sandy while dressing at the lockers, PP finds out a valuable piece of info about the Y Pool Closures:

“You can sign up with your email to get updates about the pool closing. They have a list,” Sandy tells PP.

WHAT? Why the hell hasn’t anyone ever told her this before? Like the two clerks just now couldn’t have mentioned this? Or a note on the “CLOSURE” sign couldn't include this useful tip for future unforeseen closures.

The update list is a Secret?

Shit, what’s the point of that?





PP has been swimming at the Oakland Y for over 3 years. She’s broken down in tears at the front desk over pool closure at least a half a dozen times. Why the hell didn’t anyone ever think to mention the ‘Update List’?

Sandy shakes her head when PP mentions how she’s never known about this. That she'll sign up.

“Yeah, well, we’ll see if they let you know in time,” she shrugs.
“Good point,” PP nods, but it’s worth a try.
“Sure, it’s worth a try.” Sandy agrees, then tells a story of how when she first came to the mainland from Hawaii and had to join a Swimming Club her relatives back in Hawaii couldn’t believe that she was “PAYING” to go swimming.





PP gets this, of course.

“Where was the club?” PP asks.
Sandy smiles, then looks away. Shy? Abashed? “Piedmont. The Piedmont Swim Club.”

PP nods, wonders how much the Piedmont Swim Club charges per month?

Frankly, whatever it is, it’d definitely be worth it.

Cuz PP bets that the Piedmont Swim Club doesn’t close their pool unexpectedly. Or if it does, they call their regular swimmers ahead of time so they don’t make an unnecessary trip to partake of a much needed swim.

Epilogue

PP signs up for the email 'updates' in the Aquatics category. She's dubious that it will work, but maybe she needs to push down that negativity.

Only time will tell.

The next time the pool is closed, will she get an update?

Her Pessimist's Realism says, 'NO'.
And her Swimmer's Intuition says...?

She'll have to get back to you on that!

Psychic Space!

“Hi,” 8:30 Super Swimmer Guy leans down to catch PP at the wall, “Can we circle swim?”

Oh dear! The Dreaded Circle Swim! In the Mayhem Mayhem MAYHEM that is Hilltopia this summer, PP has to just laugh or cry.

She chooses laughter this time, “Sure, we can try! But you’re much faster than I am and I’m much faster than he is and so….” She chuckles. Shrugs.

“That’s fine. We’ll work it out,” 8:30 SSG grins, crouching down to try to stop the Super Slug Guy that PP has been sharing a lane with for the past 20 minutes. He swims a jerky breast stroke, his pudgy legs almost kicking her each time she passes him.



Is this cuz of his swimming style? Or his girth? Or his obliviousness?

Most likely all of the above. And because of all of the above, SSG is gonna make the Dreaded Circle Swim even more dreadfully challenging.
“Excuse me,” 8:30 SSG stops The Slug, “Can you circle swim?”
The Slug peers up at him through foggy blue goggles. If PP could see his eyes, which she can’t, she knows they’d be showing what? Astonished Disbelief? Indignant Imposition? Complete Ignorance?

Yet from his response, he does understand the request. “I’m just gonna stay in my own lane (Something he hasn’t been doing since his herky jerky Breast Stroke takes up 3/4's of the lane) "and you two can share the other half.”

8:30 SSG shakes his head, “No, that’s not going to work. We can’t split the other side with the two of us. Don’t worry; I’ll just go around you.”
The Slug shakes his head, vehement. “NO.” (He’s saying no? To circle swimming with all the crowds? While part of PP admires his bravado, she wonders planet he's from. The planet of empty pools? She wants to fly there!)

8:30 SSG tries again, “We need to circle swim.” He points to the sign and the diagram at the far end of the pool, that no one can see anyway, esp. The Slug. “It’s the rules.”



“No, I can’t do that,” The Slug insists, adamant, and takes off down the middle of the lane.
PP looks up at 8:30 SSG in laughing disbelief. “I don’t think he’s a Regular,” she says.
Shaking his head, 8:30 guys stands up and starts doing his windmill arms in prep for entry. He’s gonna swim around The Slug anyway. This is gonna be good, PP thinks.

“I can put another lane in,” The Harried Lifeguard comes over, seeing or sensing the altercation. PP’s surprised that she’s noticed what with 60 billion families braining each other with noodles in the other half of the pool.

Relieved, 8:30 SSG steps over to claim the new lane. PP takes off trying to share with The Slug, almost done with her swim, but just a little sorry that the Circle Swim didn’t happen-- if you can believe that.

But yet, 8:30 SSG’s lane fills up too after a few minutes. 3 swimmers circling, and true to his word, 8:30 SSG just whizzes past them.

“You’re a FISH!” The Slug exclaims to her as she climbs up on the deck, making her like him a little more. She wants to counter with “You’re a Slug!” but thinks better of it.



Catching 8:30 SSG’s eye at the wall, she motions to her now empty half of the lane, “You want my lane?” she offers, grinning.
Shaking his head, 8:30 SSG declines, “Thanks, but I don’t think so.” He nods toward the Slug floating down the middle of the lane, “He seems to be swimming down the middle of the lane. I think I’ll stay here.”
“Yeah, he takes up a Lot of Space!” PP laughs.
“Psychic Space!” 8:30 SSG chuckles, before zooming off in a mighty whirl.

The Eyebrows Have It!

“You’re gonna think I’m completely superficial, but I’m gonna say it anyway.” Sandy saunters past PP's spacey frantic dressing after swimming before 10 pm.
“That’s ok,” PP calls after her, “I like superficial.”

“Great. You know the Real Bianca? (For those of you out of the loop, Eden Riegel, who played Bianca Montgomery Hot Lesbian Extraordinaire on All My Children has left the show and been replaced with a ‘weak’ Bianca.)

Now, PP nods, eager to hear what Sandy has to say.
“It was her Eyebrows. You know? Those Eyebrows. You couldn’t help but be drawn in.”



“That’s it exactly!” PP agrees, remembering the sexy dark serious brows of The Real Bianca. How when she was playing her Moral Center Role and lecturing about ‘how so and so really knew better than to sleep with so and so’ and with any other actress, the moralizing woulda come off as cliché cuz of course, it was. But with the Real Bianca, her eyebrows let you know that what she was saying was sincere, important and deep. She was NOT superficial!

PP glances over at DL, who’s sitting next to her, humming her little tune, but at the same time listening to the Bianca Analysis intently. PP glances over at her, nods toward Sandy; DL nods back. “That’s it exactly, isn’t it?” whispers PP. “The Eyebrows!”


“Oh yeah!”
“What an insight!” PP exclaims. “Sandy’s just like you—being able to pick out the one physical characteristic that says it all. Like when you said that Ryan’s eyes were too far apart, or David’s neck was too short, or Angie’s hair was wrong (Well, most of us woulda gotten that one.)

DL nods, lost back in her humming reverie.

Sandy’s deep into the lotion portion of her dressing. Is talking about the Claremont Pool. A Pool, regrettably and unbelievably, PP has only heard tell of and never swam in. Now she can’t.







The dreaded sun. Sandy guesses this. She’s not superficial at all really, but gets the sensitive stuff, at least when it has to do with pools and swimming and women. “Yeah, my skin can’t take the sun anymore either,” she commiserates. “I gob lots of sunscreen SPF 85 and wear my rash guard and still, when I get out of the pool, my skin is screaming for moisture. I’m just at that age where it’s not a good idea to be swimming outside anymore. Just can’t do it anymore. So unfortunately, I had to say no to the membership at the Claremont.”

A membership at the Claremont? Shit. PP would dare the sun for that. This pool is supposed to be to die for. Of course, maybe Sandy’s right, and she doesn’t want to die from the sun demons.

Yet, there’s still a part of PP that misses swimming outdoors so much. Esp. when the indoor pool at the Y is complete and total mayhem circle swimming hell!

Call her superficial, but PP still likes the way a tan looks, even though she knows its hazards.

“You ladies have a good night,” Sandy calls out as PP and DL pack up and head out.
“Thanks, you too,” they answer.
DL raises an Eyebrow at PP as they head out of the locker room.

Better than the Real Bianca, that DL is! And definitely NOT Superficial!

Flirting?

“Lordy it’s crazy out there in that Pool!” Gargantuan Splitting Out of Her Suit women sighs loudly, shaking her head.

PP tries not to turn and run the other way. She’s at Hilltopia, in the sauna, and had already taken a gander at the pool. It was pure kidtopia mayhem.

“And only one lifeguard,” Another Woman comments. PP can’t see her in the dark. But it doesn’t matter. The dialogue will speak for itself.

“It’s so cloudy in the pool. I don’t know how the lifeguard sees anything!” Gargantuan Woman observes.
“Yes. I am very concern about this.” A Timid Accented Woman pipes in.
“Why’s that?” GW asks.
“I need to find out the….” She hesitates, searching for a word. PP isn’t sure where TAW's from since she’s terrible at accents and identifying their origin. Maybe this woman is Eastern European? Russian? Who cares, she has something to say.

Timid Accented Woman wraps her arms around herself, hugging herself to demonstrate what she’s trying to say. PP is confused. How do you say ‘hug yourself’?

“…..I need to find the rule that tell about the….flirting?” she ventures.
“I don’t think there are any rules about flirting,” GW answers.
“Maybe….I …..” TAW pauses again, “….it is when ….I don’t want my daughter to see.”
“What exactly don’t you want your daughter to see?” PP cuts in, impatient for the story.
“The man and the woman. They were in the pool and they were….I don’t want my daughter to see.”
“How old is your daughter?” PP asks.
“7 and half.”
“And what exactly were they doing?” PP presses.
TAW wraps her arms around herself again, “I think it was the ….flirting? I think they were…..” She pauses again, embarrassed, “I hope that there was no discharge. I don’t want my daughter to see that.”

No discharge? Did she just say that? She can’t find the word for sex but she can for discharge?





The wonders of ESL. Gotta love it.

“You mean they was foolin around in the pool? With the kids there?” GW snorts.
“I think so,” TAW nods. “I need to see if there is a rule that doesn’t allow that flirting.”
“It’s more than flirting,” PP interrupts. “And yes, absolutely, they should NOT be having sex in the pool.”

PP feels like such an old fuddy duddy saying this. But on the other hand, it’s completely gross! Semen in the pool? Yucky!

She just doesn’t even want to think about this. Unless the couple was attractive. But this seems unlikely. PP has seen very few ‘attractive’ couples in the Hilltopia Y pool. Not to say that there aren’t any. But just not to PP’s aesthetic which is completely superficial.




“The lifeguard seen it?” GW asks.
“I’m not sure,” TAW answers. “I think probably so.”
“Yeah, you can see everything from above,” Someone Else observes.

PP wonders if this is true. Theoretically it could be. But the lifeguards at Hilltopia seem more detached and spaced out than any she’s seen. They either stare into space or text on their phones.

Evidently, they’re missing out on the show.

“I wonder I should report this?” TAW asks. “I have no evidence.”
"You don’t need no evidence!" GW cries.
“But it’s just my word against theirs."
“That don’t matter. They need to know. You tell them up front. You let them know. Then they’ll tell the lifeguard. They need to be trained."
“Yeah, they’re all very young. They’re embarrassed to say anything,”PP adds.
“Yes, but if they have the training then they will," GW continues, incensed.

Yet, PP wonders if this is true. If she were a lifeguard and had to tell some couple to stop 'flirting' in the pool, would she?

Well, she thinks you all know the answer to that!