A Dad is a Man!

 

“There’s a man in the women’s locker room,” LS says softly, catching me before I head into the locker room. She’s hanging out in the hallway of the Kennedy pool, leaning against the counter with the window into the lifeguard’s lair.

            “Right now?” I ask, thinking how I don’t have time for this. As usual, I’ve only given myself the bare minimum amount of time to get changed, in the pool, and swim my laps. I don’t have time to deal with a man in the locker room.

            She nods, leaning toward me, “Yeah.”

            “I’ll tell him to get out!” I announce. And I will. The gall! Who the hell does he think he is? Coming into the women’s locker room with all the naked swimmers in various stages of undress and nudity.

            “You don’t need to,” LS assures me. “The lifeguards are in there right now telling him he needs to leave.”

            “Okay,” I nod, “thanks for warning me.”

            “Sure, no problem.” She retreats back to the counter window. Waiting for her husband perhaps? Or maybe she’s the one who alerted the lifeguards to the idiot man.

            I head into the noisy locker room. It’s Saturday. Swim lesson day. Full of kids and moms and all their chaos. Yelling. Crying. Splashing. Kids running around in circles, completely out of control. The moms chatting to each other or on their cell phones (even though cell phones are prohibited from the locker room. No one follows this rule!)

            Today, sure enough, there is a man, a grown man, dressed in non descript man clothes, trying to dress a child, whom I assume is his daughter. His back is to me. He’s trying to get the kid into her pants. Two women lifeguards are standing about 5 yards away from him, trying not to watch the proceedings. One of them keeps murmuring, “Sorry. So sorry. Thanks…”

            What is she sorry about? He’s the one who should be sorry. What was he thinking coming into the women’s locker room? Sure, he has a daughter. But he’s a MAN! He can’t be in here!

            I glance around at the other women. No one is paying him any attention. I wonder what they thought when he first brought his daughter in? Didn’t anyone say anything? Like, “What the hell are you doing in here? This is the women’s locker room. You can’t be in here.”

            Maybe someone did. And he just ignored them.

            This has happened before. A man came into the women’s locker room to help his daughter get dressed after her swim lesson. I told him to leave.

“I have to help my daughter,” he said, scowling, his tone menacing.

“I understand that, but you’re a man. You can’t be in here. You have to leave,” I said.

            He just ignored me. Continued dressing his daughter while naked women walked around him. Didn’t they see that a man was in the locker room?

            This is what surprises me the most, perhaps. (Other than the fact that a man would think it’s okay to come into a women’s locker room) Why don’t the women who are in there say anything? It’s so weird to me. Are they afraid? Do they not care? Do they not see him? (Though this last possibility seems unlikely. The room is small and brightly lit. A man does stand out!)

            When this happened before, I had to go report the man to the lifeguard, Jose, because he certainly wasn’t listening to me.  Jose promptly got a woman lifeguard to go in and get the man out. Evidently, the man gave her a hard time. Protested that he had every right to go into the women’s locker room to dress his daughter.

            But he doesn’t. This man was banned from the facility by Jose after he refused to obey the woman lifeguard and leave. He was a nasty man. His belligerent hostility toward the lifeguards and complete disregard for their authority led to his banishment. Not to mention the idiocy of expecting he could come into the women’s locker room.

            Today, though, this man seemed just frazzled. Trying hurriedly to get his daughter dressed so he could leave.

            And he did.  Gathering up all the wet suits, towels and other swim gear, ushering the daughter out. What must she think, I wondered? Would she remember this incident? Was she embarrassed by her father’s behavior? She looked old enough, maybe 7 or 8, to dress herself, but what do I know. I’m not a parent.

            I get that it must be hard for single men raising daughters to figure out the post swim situation. But c’mon. Give the daughter a shower at the outside showers, towel her off, take her to the car, and let her get changed there. Or wrap a towel around her and just let her get changed at home. I think that’s what we did as kids. I don’t remember venturing into the women’s locker room after an afternoon swimming at the Sunset Hills Club. There must have been one. But my sisters and I never went in.

 

 

            Later, after my swim, I was hangin out with Vic at the tables in front of the facility. I told her about the incident. She was fluffing her dark luxurious hair in the sun, her fingers running through the lush tresses. She started laughing, shaking her head, when I told her a dad was in the women’s locker room changing his daughter.

            “But a DAD is a MAN!” she proclaimed, laughing, tossing her thick black hair out of her face.

            “Exactly!” I said, laughing along with her.

            Dads. They are men. Well, usually. I have met one or two dads that may have a more fluid gender identity. But that’s for another blog.

            Today’s dad was definitely a MAN. And he did not belong in the women’s locker room. Period. End of story.

            At least for now….