Are We Awake Yet?

Tell me fellow swimmers. Is the concept that difficult to grasp? I mean, hell, there’s 2 people in a lane, splitting the lane and then two more people, making 4, are you following me? get in the lane and now what? Gee! Let’s all just tread water at the wall and freeze our butts off at 9 friggin a.m! So, PP takes control in her inimitably cranky way. “Are you joining our lane?” Confused looks thro foggy goggles as one of the intruders in her spry little red and white bikini stares at PP. Hello? Am I speaking English? Do you speak English? Actually this could be the problem. Confused interloper is Asian, young and pretty. Maybe her youth and good looks keep her brain at bay? In any case, she just blinks at PP. So PP presses on as the goose bumps accelerate their progress. “Okay, well, if you’re both gonna swim here, we need to swim circles. Do you understand?” More confused looks but she nods as her friend gulps for air,treading spastically in the choppy water. “Up the right side” PP motions up, “and down the left side” PP motions down and around. “Like a circle? Do you understand? And if you get in anyone’s way, (PP has no idea why this has occurred to her!) just wait at the wall and let the faster person by. Do you understand?”

More confused nods and foggy smiles. “I’ll go first” PP announces shaking her head. Damn, why her lane? Is it really that crowded? Glancing around at the end of the wall, PP notes that it is crowded. Goddamn swim team. Aren’t they supposed to be out by 9? PP hates swimming in the morning for oh so many reasons. The swim team might be at the top of the list. They’re splashy and entitled? Yeah. That’s it. Why does the Swim Team get 8 lanes and the rest of the poor lowly lap swimmers hafta make do with 3? Is this fair?

No, not if PP doesn’t get a lane. And as of right now, she’s just gained on Foggy Asian Girl at the end of the wall, who true to suspicions, obliviously turns slowly slowly around at the wall, neatly blocking any chance for PP to get past her.

Damn.

Is it really worth it?

PP thinks not at this point. But then FAG oh dear PP better change her initials, or maybe not…anyway the poor clueless little thing must sense PP’s Frustration and she and her friend move to another lane, leaving PP back to splittin a lane with Sexy Brazilian Woman who grins at PP and mumbles happily something about something. PP has no idea, but sees SBW blissfully grab 2 kickboards, place them on top of each other and then tread water spastically at the wall holding the kickboards for several minutes.

What’s up with that? PP wonders, but not for long as SBW’s BF lingers impatiently on the side of the deck, his dark looks begging her to be done with it.... till finally she gets out…..

Happy Happy Happy HAPPY now that she has her own lane all to herself as it ALWAYS should be, PP finishes up her swim and then makes her way hurriedly over to the hot tub. Happy, too, that the tub is empty and NO ONE will disturb her up-to-this-point elusive state of swimming bliss.