Club Eeetoeko!

Pool Pussy had had a lovely time at Women's Will's 12th Night, but in the 100 degree heat under the shade of the Big Oak at Mosswood Park watching Olivia and Viola make eyes at each other, she couldn't help thinking:

"HOT HOT HOT!!!"

and then,

"POOL POOL POOL'!


So when the opportunity to go to the Dashing Boyfriend's stepson's pool and hot tub in the Oakland hills came up, she said,

"YES YES YES!!!"

(After Fenton's Ice Cream, but there's no pool there so we'll skip that story. Suffice it to say there was much ice cream, much air conditioning, and much screaming!)

Clomping down the 20 flights of wooden rickety steps to Eeetoeko's pool was an adventure in itself. Pool Pussy followed Dashingly Handsome BF's niece, Pauline, and her friend, Isabel, in the sloggy heat, thinking how delicious it was gonna be in the pool. The late afternoon sun and smog were purrfect for a dip! PP couldn't wait!

Spying the splashing of DH BF's sons in the turquoise water initially gave her tinges of oh no! boys frolickin in the pool. Damn! How was she gonna swim?

But it was such a lovely day and she was so hot that what the hell. She'd swim around them.

And swim around them, she tried. But it was treacherous. Why Dashingly Handsome BF even got a bloody nose in the fray!

Is this what swimming pools are for?


PP thinks not!


Swimming pools are for HER to swim languidly and loverly on her back enjoying the craggy pines and the afternoon light. Swimming pools are for HER to swim uninterrupted laps back and forth in meditative luxury. Swimming pools are for HER to eavesdrop and stare at bikini girls and boys parading around the deck.

Instead, Eeetoeko's swimming pool was an obstacle course around the water basketball game. PP finally gave up trying to swim laps even though the pool was purrfect for this. Small but rectangular. If only those boys would get out of HER way!

Finally, she joined the girls being girls on the side of the pool. P. and I. whispering in French as they watch the boys in wondrous admiration while Dorian, The GF of the oldest son, Callum, smoked a cigarette on the lounge chair, her heart decorated bikinied bosom heaving in the toxic fumes.

Sighing, PP finally got out and lay down on the warm cement. Why is this so comforting? Does it just bring back all of those childhood Sunset Hills Swimming Club memories of swimming for hours with her sisters and then plopping down on the warm concrete, exhausted and happy?

Yeah, PP thinks this is it!


Later, in the Hot Tub, everyone's taking a break from the rough housing.Languishing in the warm bubbles, PP gazes up at the starry smoggy sky in the growing darkness. The air still marvellously warm. Such a rarity for the Bay Area as the dialogue drones in and out of her watery consciousness.

"Aren't you afraid of gun shots where you live?" Pauline asks, wide eyed innocent from Canada.

"No, not really," answers Eeetoeko, tough East Oaklander. "I've lived in lots of places where there's gun shots."

"Where have you lived where there's gun shots?" Challenging his big brother, really half brother, Callum laughs in disbelief.

Pool Pussy sinks lower into the hot tub as the gun shot conversation fires away. Here at Club E, Dashingly Handsome Boyfriend's family hashes it out underneath a rare warm Bay Area July Sat. night. Gun shots seem a long way from this heavenly hot tub and pool perched atop the east bay hills, even though Eeetoeko insists that he's surrounded by them. Pool Pussy glances down the hillside to see random fireworks spraying the sky with greens and oranges not bullets, and thinks, Eeetoeko, true to form, is full of it.


But she has to admit, he's a character as he continues to nonchalantly list all the places he's lived with gun shots: Columbia (duh!), East Oakland (bigger duh), Richmond (Supurr Dupurr Duh!) and one other spot but PP has spaced out for a moment, or she can't hear over the conversation cuz of the artificial water falls E has turned on in the swimming pool below.

"Every time I drive on the east side of Tam Valley T-mobile cuts out on me." Dorian, whines. Cell phones are a hot hot tub topic.

"Really?" E comments, surprised. "Cuz you know, I never had a problem with T-Mobile."

"It's cuz they're the biggest in the area, " Callum asserts, knowledgeable re: all things technical. E thinks of himself as the most knowledgeable, but what the hell does he know really? PP thinks. He just invests in property with stupendous pools that are got on the cheap cuz the previous owners were chased off by east bay drug thugs who wanted their marijuana plantation. (No, PP is not making this up! But Eeetoeko might be!)

Bored, Rory, the little brother, stands and jumps off the hot tub ledge into the waterfall pool, while Pauline and Isabel, continue to ask cute naive questions about T-mobile and AT & T Park.


Handsome Dashing BF is doing what? Listening, nodding, interjecting his 2 cents. He's so serious and sweet. PP knows he's thrilled to be here with all his children, yet on the other hand, it's stressful. For as we all know, or at least anyone reading PP's blogs, FAMILIES ARE WEIRD!!!!

Why is this? There's been books written about it, Oprah's made millions from it, but actually, it's simple from PP's perspective--it's all too casually incestuous. (Not in a sexual way, of course, though Oprah likes this!) Like it's all so weirdly normal for E to be watching the taped Giant's game and smoking weed while abandoning his guests to doin the dishes; talking on their cell phones; surfing the internet; playing with the dog, Sugar; or plunging into the pool.

Families--do they just not care about each other? Ummm....No, they do, it's just that they're always there there. It's so easy to treat each other in a casual, or even socially inactive manner.

Or even in sort of schizo way? Yes! This is it! Why!

You see it all the time, especially on Soap Operas. PP delights in Kendall's nastiness to her mother, the Countess Kane, and warm glow to her sister, the fair Bianca. Pine Valley is just like Oakland, at least from PP's perspective!

And what would Kendall do now at the end of the evening when she's ready to go and no one is paying attention to her?

She'd have none of it!


"Hey, Guys! Get the Lead out PRONTO!! I'm tired and cranky and I need my Beauty Rest, so find your goddamned pants and let's get the hell out of this Insane Heat Box. (Club Eeetoeko's Pool House was at least 115 degrees, but if you're stoned or on the internet, same difference?, you don't notice!)


Not being Kendall, PP just sighs, nags, sighs again. Plays with the dog. Goes to the bathroom.

Finally, D H BF and the youngster, R, who they've been waiting on for what seems like an hour to decide where he wants to go makes a half hearted decision. Or does PP make it for him? Dashingly Handsome BF has been trying for at least 20 minutes: "You could stay here at Eetoekos. Or you could go home with C and D.Would that be okay? Or you could come with us..... Shrugs and "I dunnos" are the response to all queries)


Damn. Let's go! PP fumes. Tired, hot and exasperated, she wishes that she'd just skipped the whole Club Eeetoeko, till she steps out on the balcony to wait it out. Gazes out at the City Lights and breathes in the warmth as D talks hushedly on her cell.


It had been a lovely day. Shakespeare. Fentons. Pool.

Why sweat it, she smiles and shrugs as DH BF finally rounds them all up and they trudge back up steps, lit so prettily with green christmas lights, the pool now a quietly glassy turquoise in the still warm night.