This Means You!

“Did you just get outta the pool?”

She wrinkles her pert nose, the eyes behind her wire rimmed glasses sighing, “No. Did you see the sign?”

PP had indeed seen the sign.

Please keep fecal matter out of the pool!
Wash your butt before going in the pool!
(This means you!)
Thank you very much for helping
the YMCA to keep fecal matter out of the pool.

PP esp. had liked the ‘Wash your butt—this means you!' line. Like were the lifeguards gonna check everyone’s butt before they were allowed into the pool?
"Okay everyone! Line up. Drop your suit. Spread your cheeks….”

Somehow, PP thought not.

But it was kind of a funny image as long as it stayed that: an image in her imagination.

Yet Did You See the Sign Woman was not amused. “I’m not EVER going in the pool again!” she announced, before turning away from PP and beginning her getting dressed ritual.

Grinning, PP wondered if this was going to be the general consensus. Everyone would stay out of the pool for fear of unwashed fecal matter on butts.

And when she got in the pool 10 minutes later, it seemed so. She had her own lane. There were only 5 or so brave swimmers, daring the fecal matter to impede their workouts.

Yet, alas, the keep-out-of-the-water power of the sign was just wishful thinking. Sure enough, in 20 minutes, the pool was full of the usual suspects: sidestroke toenail man, grey hair in his face man, butterfly fin man, etc.

No way were they gonna let the threat of a little fecal matter stop them!

And PP had to admit that she certainly wasn’t going to let it stop her.

After all, she’d washed her butt!

Let’s just hope everyone else did!


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