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Showing posts from June, 2006

You gonna marry that guy?

"You gonna marry that guy that comes around here with you?"Sinking deeper into the hot tub post swim, I try to not appear engaged. Especially about marriage. No pun intended!
Undaunted or oblivious, T., the amazing 72? 82? 92? year old swimmer, stares at me expectantly. "Well?"
"Uh...I don't think so.""Why not?"
"I'm not the marrying kind. Besides, he's already been married. I don't think he wants to get married again."
T.chuckles.
I can't help but giggle. "Well, maybe if I asked him, he'd marry me!"
"Yep! Are you too old to have babies?"
Jeeez, what's with all the pool ageist aspersions this week? "Yes, I am. But I've always been too old to have babies. Since I was 13!"
T laughs.
Giving up on my hot tub solitary pretense, I plunge in:"Do you have kids?"
"Me? Nah....never been married. Never had kids. Awfully lonely though....."
I nod, sympathetic. Had always figu…

Pool Pussy is a Senior! Hissssss!!!!!!

"How old are you?"

How old am I? Aghast, I stare open-mouthed at the 19 yr old? 16 yr old? 12 yr old? (She must be only 12--otherwise, she'd know better than to ask a middle-aged woman her age! Hell, we're not in China where the first question I was always asked was 'How old are you?' I got so damn sick of telling every stranger I met my age. Finally, I just resorted to lies--I'm 19, or I'm 100. Wow you look really young for 100!)

Should I resort to this strategy today as the sweet lifeguard/pool attendant smiles up at me?

Hell no!

I try for a smile, but fear it was more of a grimace. Not helpful to the myriad of wrinkles that obviously tipped off this sweet young thing. But hell, I swim! Doesn't that count for youthful beauty and glow for eternity?

Evidently not.

She continues to stare at me. Unsure.

I continue to stare at her. Pissed offl

"I have to ask," she purrsists.

You have to ask? Why the hell do you have to ask? Just to alienate every mi…

pool pussy eavesdrops on sexy teenagers & other hot tub stories

OHMYGOD! He is NOT Gorgeous!
Yeah. He's a cuteypie, but he's not Gorgeous.
My mom thinks he's gorgeous!
You're kidding?
No, she thinks he's gorgeous.
Okay, he's cute, but he's not HOT.


Like did you see me last weeekend when i had poison oak? Like you are so lucky you didn't!
My neck was like so disgusting.
No Hickies for you!
HAHAAA! No that was last weekend with.....
What was his name?
I dunno. I only went out with him once.
At Carly's party?
Yeah...what was his name....??? Damn! I'm having a Brain Fart....give me a minute!


You teach piano?
Yeah.
I have a piano i wanna sell.
Oh?
Yeah, there's some drama to it. My mother sent my daughter this piano outta the blue. Paid
a 1000 dollars for it and shipped it up without even telling us. One morning there's this knock on the door, and there's a piano! Like we need a piano! So, me and my daughter both tried to take
piano lessons, but hell, it's too damn late for me and my daughter well.....i think we didn…