Monday, February 16, 2015

A Tale of Two Topknots

“All I heard was ‘Allegra’ and ‘Topknot’”. Sandy stretches one leg up and over her belly, then lets it flop down again onto the wooden bench before stretching the other one in like fashion.
DL and I crack up; I note DL’s belly shaking with Topknot Mirth.

We’d been in the Aquatopia; DL had been sporting another fine Topknot to keep her gorgeous tresses out of the water. When we’d walked into the sauna, she’d announced into the air, or maybe to me: “I name my Topknots.”

It took me several minutes to register this for some reason. Maybe it was the journey into the Sauna from the hot tub that interrupted what would have otherwise been an immediate response. Or maybe I was just tired and heaterized from my swim and the hot tub soaking. Or maybe I’m just slow.

But after we’d gotten situated into Utopia—me on the top shelf opposite Sandy; DL on the bench below her; and a couple of other women draped about, it hit me. Did she say she named her topknots?

And so I asked this question, out of the blue, driving the other draping women out ( or so we surmised).

“You could name her Allegra,” I’d offered.
“Perfect,” DL had giggled.

Sandy had offered what she’d heard, (see first line, Dear Reader) and from there….well, my imagination spun a tale of Two Topknots: A story within a story if you will:
Allegra was the Queen of the Topknots. She ruled the others from atop DL’s gorgeous head. She surveyed all of the other more trivial topknots that were under her purview. They were smaller, yes, but also they were her Topknots-in-Waiting. They administered to her every need. If she needed a strand of hair tucked back under her topknot base, they scurried to do her bidding. If she became hungry or thirsty, they’d provide her with tip top topknot fare. If she grew weary from her duties as Queen, they provided her with the necessary rest and relaxation.
Until one day….
A Topknot Interloper sauntered into the Kingdom.

She was sexy. She was sultry. She was trouble.
And she knew exactly what she wanted.
She needed to topple the Queen. Allegra would be Top Topknot no longer if Desiree had her way.
And she always got her way…..
~to be continued~

Thursday, February 05, 2015

Beauty is the ONLY Distraction!

“Don’t you think that Beauty is a Distraction?” I ask DL as we float in the hot tub.
She pauses for only a moment, then a slow grin creeps up, “Beauty is The ONLY distraction!”

We both crack up. Of course she’d say this. What other answer could she give? She’s Italian. And she’s Beautiful.

“It’s so true,” I manage, after a few moments of giggles. “I knew when this young woman asked to share my lane tonight that she was beautiful. Even though my foggy mask, I was distracted, you know?”
DL nodded. “Oh, yeah….”

“And so my entire swim, I was so distracted. I just had to keep trying not to stare……”

Sinking into the steamy bubbles, I fall into Distraction Reverie.....

She’d asked to share my lane about half way through my swim, shy and professional. “Can I share your lane?” she’d asked simply enough. But already, I was thoroughly distracted. She was one of those young EthBeauties. You know, the dark hair, dark brown eyes, chocolate skin, swimmers compact frame. I was smitten, so of course, no problem, she could share my lane even though usually I send out the Hostile Don’t Even Ask To Share My Lane Vibes.

“Sure,” I’d answered.
“Do you want to just split the lane?” she’d asked.
“Okay,” I’d grinned. “You look super speedy.”
She’d demurred some appropriately humble response, then jumped in and yeah, sprinted down the lane.


I think I was that speedy once, but no more.

Later when I’d told Sandy about the sharing lane Beauty and how fast she’d been, she’d remarked, “Get used to it.”
We’d all laughed, but then Sandy had continued, “You probably didn’t mind sharing with her. I’m sure she could hold her lane.”
“Hold her lane….” I repeat. “I like that…..”

I didn’t mention that the real reason I didn’t mind sharing was her Beauty. “Yeah, she could. Unlike this one woman I encountered a few months back who right at the onset had announced to me “'I have to warn you. I can’t swim in a straight line.'”

“She probably had a license to drive too,” Sandy had quipped.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure she did,” I laughed.

I close my eyes, letting the heat envelop me, and for a moment, thinking of nothing but this soothing warmth.
A creak of the door, and DL is gone. Another creak of the door, and someone slips in.
I open my eyes. Is it her? EthBeauty?

For a moment, I hold my breath, thinking of my good fortune. Here’s The Distraction come to sit next to me in the sauna!
But no, it’s not. Yet, it doesn’t matter. She’s beautiful and a distraction. Because when I’m in Utopia, everyone is beautiful.

And everyone, as you all know, is a Distraction.

Mad as Hell!

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!” Remember that line? Remember that movie? Network , right? What was everyone so ma...