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Showing posts from January, 2014

GOD SAVED HIS SORRY ASS!

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PP glances disdainfully at the layout of drying clothes in a prime Utopia spot—an entire corner of the top bench. Then notices Green Faced Witchy Woman and knows they belong to her. Decides not to say anything, but climbs up behind GFWW to plop down next to Sandy.

GFWW gives her the Evil Eye. PP smiles sweetly at her as DL takes the lower bench.

“Hello, Ladies,” Sandy says.
“Hey, Sandy,” PP replies. “You back at your pool yet?” Sandy’s regular ‘club’ pool, and we can all imagine how divine that would be, has been closed for several weeks. She’s had to navigate the terrors of the Oakland Y’s pool in the meantime.
“Yes, thank goodness,” Sandy sighs. “I was about ready to kill someone the other day.”
“Really?” PP grins, eager to hear the story of course.
“Tell, me, P,” Sandy continues, “why is it that people can’t stay on their own side of the lane? I’m swimming with this guy, he’s doing the breaststroke and every time he passes me, he kicks me. Not hard, mind you, but what the f….!”
Sand…

Soup, Sauna and Hair

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“There’s this woman who brings her soup into the sauna, the part I don’t like is that she brings it in a glass jar, leaves it while she’s doing her workout, and then when she returns, it’s nice and hot and ready to eat.”

“Eeeewww, GROSS!!!!!” P exclaims, thinking how food should not be mixed with extreme heat and naked women.

They’d all just been in the sauna a few minutes earlier where Sandy had announced that it was 200 degrees. P had thought it seemed a bit on the hot side, but liked it. DL, upon hearing this extreme heat proclamation, had zoomed out, leaving PP to hear about Sandy’s foray into the Y’s pool since her club was closed.

“They close this pool to clean it, for how long? 10 days? And then what? I go for a swim and catch hair in my hands while I’m swimming.”
“Hair in your hands?” P asks, thinking about how disgusting this is. “Like big clumps of hair?”

“No, no, just a strand here or there,” Sandy chuckles. “But still. At my Club the signage is very clear: Showers Requ…