Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Next Mayor of Oakland!


“Sandy should be Mayor of Oakland,” DL announces, floating down Broadway after an evening of Utopia.

“That is an excellent idea!” P exclaims. “She would make a perfect Mayor of Oakland.”
DL nods as she unlocks Moondoggie’s passenger door, P climbing in for a last ride in DL’s 13 year old chariot.

Settling in, P muses about all the reasons Sandy should be Mayor of Oakland.

1. She is a member of the downtown Oakland YMCA
2. She is a swimmer
3. She has opinions

4. She used to be a travel agent
5. She knows how to navigate Utopia’s strangeness
6. She wears aqua and lavender leisure suits
7. She feels guilty about having a maid
8. She has a sense of humor that surprises
9. She is open to anyone and everyone
10. She vacations in Mexico
11. She has danced at her cotillion
12. She drives a big white car
13. She knows where to shop
14. She has a Greek husband/partner
15. She knows when to be silent
16. She wields a wide spray bottle
17. She reads the New Yorker on the Treadmill

18. She narrates stories with aplomb and panache
19. She thinks DL and PP are fun
20. She is Oakland

So, yes, DL is right. Sandy would make a great Mayor of Oakland.
P wonders if they can start a write up campaign. Sure, Jean Quan is powerful, but can she lay claim to all of the above? P has NEVER seen her at the Oakland Y, and frankly, a regular membership should be a requirement for any mayoral candidate. Why, you may ask?

The downtown Oakland Y is a perfect microcosm of what Oakland could be: it’s got ‘community’ and ‘heart’ and ‘health. Everyone gets along at the Y---it’s a diverse and divergent membership.

Plus, it has a pool. And if the Mayor of Oakland were a swimmer, like Sandy, well, then, all would be well with the city.
For doesn’t water solve all problems? P has never seen any of the ills that plague Oakland in the pool, with the exception of some minor violence against rubber duckies by naughty children.
So! Sandy for Mayor of Oakland!
DL and P just have to find out her last name before the next election.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great candidate, perhaps she'll move to Torrance and run. >^..^<

Anonymous said...

Could we nominate her for Pres. in 2016? RJ

Anonymous said...

Could we nominate her for Pres. in 2016? RJ

Cj said...

Great idea, RJ! I'll start a campaign right away!