Sunday, July 10, 2011


What the hell was he doing?

PP had seen him come on deck earlier, just as she was turning at the wall. Could it be? Was it Man Kick Swimmer?


Looked like him from what she could tell through her foggy mask. Fortunately she was near the end of her swim and double fortunately there were other lanes open besides the one next to her.

She’d driven through the Rush Hour Friday afternoon traffic again to avoid just this situation, whether it be screaming children or kicking men, & she’d thought suffering through the stop and go traffic would be worth it.

But now?

She stopped at the wall for a moment to retrieve her fins. Slipping them on, she openly stared at Man Kick Swimmer sitting on the side of the pool in front of the lane next to hers, wrapping something around his Kicking Legs.

She was almost certain it was him now; though she couldn’t know for sure till he actually got in the water and began his tell-tale spaz splashing stroke.

Taking off down the lane, she would have shaken her head if it hadn’t been underwater. Why her? Why did he have to come at this time? And why did he have to get in the lane next to her?

Was she going to have to get out to avoid being another Victim of his Hideous Man Kick? (If you, Swimmer Readers, don’t recall what happened, PP had been kicked in the kidneys by Man Kick Swimmer a few weeks back. She’d even had to get out of the pool. See previous post for more details)

But now, back at the wall where he was still screwing around with tying what? Was he tying a pull buoy to his legs? And then tying his legs together?

Could this be?

She’d never seen such a swimming training tool if that’s what you’d call it. Once she’d seen a guy with an inner tube wrapped around his ankles to keep his legs together, but she’d never actually witnessed Pull Buoy Bondage Legs before.

Grinning, she had to wonder. Why was he doing such a thing? Could it be because he’d kicked her and felt bad and so was making sure it didn’t happen again?

Nah. PP liked to think the world of the pool swam around her, but this was stretching it even for her ego.


In the water now she could tell it was definitely him; his mighty spaz splashing was unmistakable; but now with his legs bound together, no way could he kick out to the side at all.

She was safe!

Did he do this when he saw that she was here? No, it didn’t seem like it since he had to have had the ropes with him already, right?

Or had he come out on deck for a moment, spied her, and then gone back into the locker room to get the necessary ropes?

She tried to remember if this had happened.

Part of her thought that it had; another part of her thought it was her imagination.

No matter. He was bound and harmless today.

PP liked this very much and decided that getting kicked had its rewards. What a relief to swim next to Man Kick Swimmer with no worries.

But there was still a part of her that trembled at the thought of his binds coming loose. Entirely possible since he was so damn spastic. The sheer force of his splashing might be the demise of his bondage.

PP decided she better get out before this happened. Just to be on the safe side. Tempting as it was to swim on the wild side, she nevertheless didn't need to get kicked by Bondage Man Legs! Impossible as that seemed, she knew he couldn't be trusted.

And maybe because of the tied legs his sanity was really what she was questioning.

Which of course made him doubly dangerous!

Monday, July 04, 2011

Giddy with Glee

“Excuse me,” PP’s on the pool deck, ready to go: cap and mask on, fins in hand, but yet....what's up with all the goddamn families in the pool still?

The spaced out but Frazzled Lifeguard gives her a tired smile (How can you be spaced out and frazzled? The Hilltopia lifeguards have this persona down to a science.)

“Hi,” FL manages.
“I thought that it was lap swimming at 4:30.” PP glances at the still mayhem-filled side of the pool where several families are doing their usual screaming Aquatic Antics. Shit. She’d driven up here specially at 4 in the stupid stop and go rush hour traffic so that she could avoid this Pool Chaos and now?

“Oh!” Frazzled Lifeguard looks worried, “Is that what the schedule says? I’m new.”
PP grins. “Yeah, that’s what the schedule says. Lap swimming from 4:30-7:40.”
“Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.”

FL gets up off her perch and starts to instruct the families to clear the water.
PP’s grin widens.
Such power!
All she had to do was inform the lifeguard that the schedule said it was lap swimmers time and then voila! Out with the families!

She loved it!

The families, however, did not.

PP watches in silent glee as they slowly climb out of the pool. Several parents sloshing over to read the posted schedule and shaking their heads.

YAHOOO!!! PP shouts to herself as she helps FL move the lane line over, almost smashing a slow to get out floating child with the line.

It was tempting to brain the little bugger.
But then it’d cry.
And then PP would feel bad.

Well, not too bad as she slipped her fins on and glided across the now clear lane. The water smooth and childfree.


Why couldn’t it always be like this, she thought to herself as she turned at the wall to head back down the empty lane.

Maybe it could, she thought.

All she had to do was tell the lifeguard that it was lap swimming time and....

Oh but there was that damn schedule.

It worked for her this time, and her moment of Pool Clearance Power was Delicious, but in reality, she couldn’t make the schedule her schedule all of the time, could she?

Gleeful and Giddy, she watched as a mom and her kid approached the lifeguard. Were turned away.

Come back when it’s Rec Swim! PP thought. Read the goddamn schedule! She laughed, thinking how it was strange that the new lifeguard hadn't read the schedule before her shift. Or kept it right there next to her to double check throughout the day.

Thanks goodness she had PP to save her from Lifeguard Space out Dereliction of Duty she smiled to herself underwater, dolphin kicking with gleeful abandon. 4:30 on Fridays were Her Time. At least for now.

And that's all that matters!

Mad as Hell!

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!” Remember that line? Remember that movie? Network , right? What was everyone so ma...