Showing posts from August, 2009

Patriotic Snorkeler?

He was round. And white. And red eyed. And grey haired.

Got into the lane to the right of PP at the Hilltop Y. Glanced up at her to gauge the lane sharing potential. She, of course, hoped he’d opt for another lane.

He was a Snorkel Guy. (Need she say more?)

But wait. He was no ordinary Senior Snorkel Guy.

Cuz when the lane left of PP opened up and he dove in front of her and under the lane line, with a majestic spray of water honking out of his snorkel, she saw atop It….

A little American Flag waving in water logged glory!

What does it mean?

PP thinks it must be some sort of patriotic drowning ritual. He believes the flag is good for nothing except to wave atop his snorkel.

But yet, he didn't impress her as the disrespectful type. In fact, it seemed to be some sort symbol of Patriotic Honor. The American Flag will carry him through all obstacles: the Obnoxious Screaming Kids; the tidal wave making Butterfly Man; the Needy Floating Woman.

Yet isn’t the wetting of an American Flag sacr…

That Cheating Man!

“Ladies, let me finish.” Gap Tooth Story Teller is holding court in Utopia. All are riveted by her oratory expertise and compelling relationships subject matter.

“I’m sorry, but I gotta go,” Super Swimmer Woman rises from the warm bench and heads out, limp and red.
“Wait a minute wait a minute you gotta hear this!”
SSW laughs, tired. “No, really, I gotta go. But these other ladies will stay. Am I right ladies?”
The little group nods, rapt.

The subject?

How Bad can Your Man be?

PP wonders, as GTST continues, ranting about the Bad Man, aka The Cheating Man, what DL is thinking. Does she relate the Bad Man to her experience with Bad Women? Are Lesbians Bad too?

Probably. PP didn’t think it had anything to do with gender. One person cheats on another for a host of reasons: necessity, thrill-seeking, cruelty and payback (Yes, you all know how PP is obsessed with Soap Opera). It was kinda like when PP taught Death of a Salesman and she asked the class why Biff steals (or even broader—Why do peopl…

The Power of the Indignant Lap Swimmer

At hilltop mall pool. Crazed as usual with goddamn families. One family was actually taking up a LAP LANE!!!

Can you imagine PP’s indignation?


So she stood at the edge of the pool in front of the offending family use of a lap swimmer’s domain, fins in hand, swim mask on, showered and ready…..

And miracle of miracles! The lifeguard saw her and came running from the other side of the pool to direct the Offending Family to move to the other side of the lap lanes.

“Over there?” one of them had questioned, incredulous.
“Yes. You need to move to the left hand section of the pool. This is a lap lane reserved for lap swimmers.”


PP watched as the family vacates HER lane: two or three burly guys, a couple women, one with a tiny baby (hope she had her swim diaper on—-PP does NOT need another Brown Alert-—but that’s another blog—she keeps saying this, she knows, but it is)

They grumble just a bit and then duck under the lane lines to swim in the designated Family Chaos Area. (Frankly, PP cou…

Milkshake Reveries

“I really want a milkshake!” Super Swimmer Woman shakes her head and laughs to herself as she continues to rub lotion all over her tanned toned body.
“Me too!” PP yells down the aisle of lockers as she pulls on her suit. “I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving.”
“Yeah, I know. But a milkshake would certainly solve the problem.”

“I went to this place in Piedmont last weekend where you could make your own shakes. Well, not actually make them. They were pre-made. What you did was get one out of the freezer section and then you could mix it up at their shake machine and it was like you were making one fresh yourself.”

“Yum. What flavor did you get?”
”Strawberry. I love strawberry,” SSW grinned.
“Me too! Everyone always wants chocolate or vanilla, but I love strawberry!” PP agrees, trying to stave off the hunger pangs before she plunges into the pool. It really is too late to swim. 8:45-9:30 p.m. She hadn’t eaten in over 6 hours. But what to do? It wasn’t like she could pack a milkshake and bring…