The Nose Picker
“How was the water this morning?” PP’s tired and needs to swim but has to vicariously through Wondrous Admin’s Swim instead since she's stuck at WWU reading last minute stupid student papers.
“It was really warm!” WA exclaims as PP tries to focus on yet another run-on sentence.
“That’s good. It was way too cold yesterday.”
WA nods, “Did I tell you about the Nose Picker?”
PP cracks up. “No, please do!”
“Well.” WA shakes her head as she launches into the story, stepping a bit closer into PP’s office.
”I was swimming my laps, minding my own business, when I glanced down the lane at the woman I’d been sharing with and she was just going at it, picking her nose till she pulled out a Big One and then I swear, she just took IT and put it in the water.”
“Are you kidding?”
WA shakes her head, “I wish I were, but I don’t think so. And so, I was on my kickboard coming toward her when I witnessed this and I hollered at her, “You didn’t just do THAT!”
“Really?” PP grins, “Good for you!”
“Yeah, well, she denied it. When I confronted her, she just looked at me and said, “I didn’t do anything.’ And when I said, ‘I saw you pick your nose and then put IT in the water!’ and she said, ‘No, I just wiped IT on my suit.’”
“Which was in the water, right?”
“Oh yeah, but she claimed that she had gotten out of the water by the time she wiped IT on her suit.”
“Which is so much better!” PP wrinkles her nose and tries to imagine why anyone would so blatantly pollute the pool.
"Exactly!" WA shakes her head again, completely disgusted and mystified.
And then PP's mind went to wondering WHO it coulda been since she knows everyone that swims at the Y. Was it Flailing Chinese Woman? Or Grey Hair Hanging In Her Face So She Swims On Your Side Of The Lane Woman? Or Incensed At the Lack Of Lane Management Woman? Or Smells Like Roasted Chicken Woman? Or…..?
Unfortunately, WA left before PP could ask for the physical description of The Nose Picker.
But in retrospect, maybe this is for the best.
PP didn’t really want to know if she was sharing a lane with The Nose Picker.
Or did she?