"HEY!!! HEY!!!!"

PP hears the rude demands before she knows they are aimed at her or by whom. And when she discovers who it is, well, she can’t believe it, but then she can!


Again, the loud, demanding obnoxious hollering across 3 lanes of the pool and she turns around. Damn. It’s stupid Paddle Man, gesturing and yelling at her with his paddled hands, and foggy goggles and wet mustache and generally unappetizing demeanor.

What the hell could he want from her? And why just yell “Hey”? Why not use something a bit more civil such as, “Excuse me, Beautiful Gracious Benevolent Pool Purrs Swimmer?”

Cause it was PM and he knows no Civility. Let alone graciousness or manners or anything but his own selfish needs and of course this is what the yelling was all about.


”Are you yelling at me?” PP asks, perturbed and grossed out.

“Yeah, can I swim in THAT lane?” He gestures to PP’s lane that she’s hereto been languidly and miraculously enjoying in solitary abandon.

She wants to say, NO! Just on anti-PM Rudeness Principal, but decides that she probably can’t get away with this, so she grudgingly assents, “I suppose,” she hollers back.

“I WANT THAT LANE!!!” he continues to holler. What the hell is he talking about? Oh, he wants the left side of the lane, the calmer side of the lane, the one next to the water walkers and not the one next to Massive Wave Generation Butterfly Man. Hell. She was here first. Shouldn’t she get to choose which side to swim on? Not relinquish the better half to PM of all people?

But she relents. Throws up her hands in exasperation. It’s not worth arguing with him about it. Besides, would he even get IT?

No. He’s Paddle Man. The Most Obnoxious and Rude Swimmer in the Pool that day.

Or maybe any day…..


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