Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Rule Breakers





“They know they not suppose to be hanging stuff on there.” Rhinestone Turban Tyrant (What is it about turbans?) wrinkled her nose and sighed and frowned and shifted and all around harrumphed at the large pair of pink rose panties hanging over the wooden bar by the sauna rocks. “They’s rules about that.”

“Don’t you know that the rules are for Other People?” Super Swimmer Woman chuckled. It was a joke after all. Who cares if the panties are hanging out to dry in the sauna? Seemed like a good idea to PP.

“That the problem,” RTT continued, truly miffed. It was no joke to her.

“They say that if we see someone breaking the rules, we’re supposed to call upstairs,” SSW added, “But I don’t like Policing People.”

“Yeah, it’s not relaxing,” PP affirmed, thinking how she wasn’t gonna go around calling up the front desk every time she witnessed a ‘rule’ being broken.

Which reminds her of how Sneaky Oprah booby trapped her studio audience the other day by setting up a ‘snitch situation’ to test them out. Some of the empty chairs in the studio had ‘reserved’ flyers on them, and one of Oprah’s producers came in and looked around and then snatched the flyer off the chair and sat down, trying to take advantage of someone else’s ‘reserved’ seating. Then the women all around the Seat Stealer gave her dirty looks or laughed, or raised their eyebrows, but no one ‘snitched’.





Oprah was appalled by this. But the Guest Psychologist wasn’t surprised. People won’t ‘risk’ their own safety for a ‘moral principle’ unless it directly affects them.




Oprah’s such a Devious Bitch. Like anyone would ‘tell’ on someone that took a reserved seat: PP knows she wouldn’t. Hell, she thought it was empowering to go into Oprah’s Studio Audience and snatch away a Reserved sign and then sit yourself down.

“They know better. They been tol before,” RTT further scolded into the Utopian Air.

“But what’s wrong with hanging their stuff there?” PP asked, broken from her Oprah musings. “I mean, is it gonna catch on fire?”

RTT turned on PP and gave her a look like ‘Are you kidding me?’ but then answered anyway. She was the Authority, “That..... Yes...... Plus, it’s Unsanitary.”

Unsanitary? Now PP really wanted to pursue this idea. How could the drying panties be unsanitary? Were their Panty Koodies wafting on the waves of heat into the Sauna air and infiltrating all the women's opening pores causing all sorts of dirty diseases?

Somehow, this didn’t seem likely, but then, again, what did PP know?

Even so, PP wasn’t gonna ‘snitch’ on Diabetes Woman (for this is who had hung her Panties out to dry). Nor was she gonna risk her Utopian Experience by telling RTT that she was full of shit.

No, not her. She had her own agenda when it came to Utopia. Call her selfish, but unless Oprah's around, PP isn't gonna stick her neck out.

It's just too much risk.

Besides, she's all for breaking the rules. Especially if a Turban Tyrant's involved.

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