Saturday, August 30, 2008

Sarah Barracuda: Wolf Killer!




“Did you hear Obama’s speech?” Grey Panty Only Woman asks. (Were they Street Panties? Or Sauna Panties? Or Hot Tub Panties? PP wonders for a moment as she sinks into the soothing bubbles of the hot tub after a satisfying but tiring Friday evening swim) GPOW has been eyeing PP for a few moments. Shy. PP hadn’t expected a political query. Only something mundane like ‘how’re ya doin’?

This is so much better. Esp. since PP had not only seen his speech, she’d taped it. Well actually she’d seen it because she taped it. She’d been at work when he’d given the speech live. Did GPOW need to know all of this? Who cares! PP is enthusiastic, raving about how Obama had rocked the stadium.

GPOW nods, serious. “I heard it was good. I’m so sorry I missed it…” Her voice trails off. She really is sad. PP gets this. In Oakland, Obama’s nomination is bigger than the Raiders at the super bowl (she’s paraphrasing Jon Carroll here) But it’s true. Barack Obama is a huge big deal and just an amazing phenomenon. How lucky she is to live in Oakland, and be hanging out at the downtown Oakland Y in the Hot Tub the day after the convention had finished.

“He was amazing,” PP gushes, a little in awe still. “I’m not sure what it is about him. Of course, he’s charismatic and he’s got all the right messages that any Democrat would want to hear. But….. it’s more than that……. He gets you right here,” PP thumps her chest where her heart is. “I don’t know what it is. Something about the cadence or rhythm of his speech…... He’s very moving and very emotional.”

GPOW nods, her eyes steady and thinking. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I sure wished I’d seen that speech!”
“I bet you can see in online or maybe someone you know has taped it or…..” PP’s voice trails off. She could give GPOW her tape of Obama, but it had all of her All My Children episodes on it too. While she could part with Barack, she didn’t think she could part with Kendall and Greenlee.

Would GPOW understand? Maybe, maybe not. PP wasn’t gonna risk it though. She just wasn’t that generous in nature.

“Y’all talking about McCain’s VP?” Super Swimmer Woman staggers out of Utopia, drenched in tiny beads of sweat, her skin a bright lobster red.
“No, who’s that?” GPOW frowns, she doesn’t know and actually, PP had only found out via an Owen Hill email from earlier that afternoon, detailing Palin’s Chestnut Bouffant.




“Someone named Sarah Palin. She’s the governor of Alaska,” SSW knows everything. PP marvels at this type. How does she do it? Does she just listen to NPR all day long on her car radio? Or have the TV tuned to CNN constantly? Or absorb any and all political trivia via some sort of telepathic osmosis?

In any case, PP is never so well informed. In fact, she never knows anything political unless it's really huge, like Obama’s acceptance speech for the Democratic nomination. This was of historic proportions. A Black Man as the Democratic Nominee. It really was exciting. Something she thought she’d never see in her lifetime. So, hell, she better know about this!

But McCain’s running mate, this seemed vital too. Though evidently he’d sprung it on the media to take some of the oomph out of Obama’s speech. Palin was a long shot surprise outta left field. As Owen’s email had said, she was a gun-toting, anti-abortion, conservative nut case. Perfect match for McCain, PP had thought. Though of course, the strategy was to get all the disenfranchised Hillary voters to swing McCain’s way.

Like a Hillary voter is gonna go for someone like Palin?

Damn. Were women really that stupid?

Evidently, McCain thought so. Yet another reason for every Hillary voter to back Obama!

“She’s evil,” another woman pipes in, entering the Hot Tub, her long gray hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.
“Why?” PP asked. This was all getting so excellent!
“She kills Wolves.”
“What do you mean?” PP asks, aghast.
“She orders planes to fly over the herds of wolves and shoot them.”






“Are you serious?” PP shakes her head in disbelief. Not only is she a conservative nutcase, but she’s a Wolf Killer as well? Damn!
“Why does she have the wolves killed?” PP asks.
Pony Tail Woman shrugs, “I don’t know. She just hates wolves I guess. Some people do.”
“That is so mean!” GPOW proclaims from the bench. “Those Wolves. They’re at a Real Disadvantage! They don’t even have a chance with those planes overhead. They could at least give them a Chance. But if the planes are shooting them from above……” she shakes her head in genuine shock. “They are at a Real Disadvantage,” she repeats.
“Aren’t wolves on the Endangered Species list?” PP asks.
A Curly Haired Red Headed Woman plops down on the bench next to GPOW, and enters the conversation, “I think they used to be, but now that their numbers have grown, I think they’re back off the list, esp. in places like Alaska and Montana and Wyoming. Places like that.”
“That sucks!” PP exclaims. The poor wolves. Damn!
“Wolves have a right to be here just as much as we do!” Pony Tail Woman proclaims as she climbs out of the hot tub, shaking her head, her blue eyes on fire.
“Yeah they do!” GPOW agrees. “They probably were here first anyway!”


“That McCain,” SSW passes in front of them, “He must be smoking something!” she jokes, as she heads back into Utopia, generating laughter from the little group that’s left.




“And did you hear how Palin is anti-everything?” she continues, standing at the door to Utopia. “She’s anti-abortion, anti- gay marriage, anti-gun control….”
“Anti- wolf!” PP interrupts.
“That too.”
“Those poor Wolves…” GPOW continues to shake her head slowly, distress and sadness fill her voice. “They are at a Real Disadvantage.”
“Well, I think that this Palin Woman is gonna end up being a Real Disadvantage to McCain,” PP announces, political pundit that she is.
“Yeah, well, we’ll see,” SSW shakes her head as she pulls open the door to the sauna. “She’s got all these kids. 5 I think. And she’s very pro-family and….”
“If she’s so pro-family, what’s she doin runnin' for Vice President of America? How she takin' care of her kids that way?” GPOW scoffs.
They all laughed. “Good point!” PP nods. But thinks to herself, will American really be as smart as these women at the Oakland Y? Will they question and analyze to this extent?

PP thinks probably not. They’ll see that Palin is a woman and either vote for or against her because of her gender. Issues be damned. Of course, PP would like to think that the voting populace is more savvy than this.

Yet, look at the criticism thrown at Obama for being ‘elitist’ and ‘too smart’—damn. Don’t people want someone smart to be running the country?

Judging from the last 8 years, it would appear not.
But then maybe times are changing. For African Americans. For women. Hell, maybe even for the wolves. Now that the gun toting Anti everything Alaskan Governor is off running with McCain they might have a howling chance.

1 comment:

poetowen said...

The pool roundtable is better than Cokie Roberts and George Will--this should be a regular election year post!