Thursday, August 07, 2008
Lil' Kitty Joke
“How’s the Red Devil?” PP grins as she watches Fish Woman submerge thankfully into the Hot Tub, her big brown breasts floating beneath the bubbly surface, her sigh
heartfelt and long.
She stares at PP for a moment, completely uncomprehending. Oh dear, PP thinks to herself, did she get the wrong woman? Is it someone else who’d told her about Big Red and this woman now thought she was crazy asking her about the Red Devil, cause, Hell, 'How's the Red Devil?' is a weird question to ask a stranger out of the blue in the Hot Tub at the YMCA at 9:35 on a Wed. eve.
“You trippin me out….” Red Devil Possibly Woman announces, glancing over at DL for confirmation. DL has a virus and is completed spacey and smiley. So PP isn’t sure if she’ll be any help in this situation. Yet PP perseveres. She’s in it now. If she’s got the wrong woman, well, that’s the way it goes. Red Devils might be in her world anyway since she mentioned how she was ‘trippin’ out,’ a phrase that later DL laughs about. “I haven’t heard THAT in years! It’s so Old Oakland!”
“Aren’t you the one who told me about your Red Devil Fish a couple of months ago?” PP plunges on.
RDPW breaks into a smile, “OH, yeah! Now I remember. You got you a good memory!” she chuckles.
“Well, it isn’t often that I’m told stories about a Red Devil Fish,” PP giggles, relieved that she hasn’t made a mistaken fish woman identity.
“That true. That true.”
“How’s he doing? Did he go on vacation with you?” Red Devil Woman had been telling them before how she’d been to Nevada for the last week. That’s why she hadn’t been around. Though PP hadn’t seen her in months truth be told. No matter. The fish was all that she cared about.
Laughing, RDW shakes her head, waving one chunky arm at PP. “No, he stayed at home but I got me some Allergy Catchers for him.”
PP smiles, unsure. Allergy Catchers? Did the Red Devil have a sinus problem? PP had no idea that such an affliction could infect a fish!
“Yea, got me some of those Allergy Catchers to clean up all the Allergy on the Fish tank. Round the sides. Round the bottom. They eat it all up!”
“Ah…” PP grins, glancing over at DL’s wide-eyed delight. At least she wasn’t too virusy to catch the Allergy Catchers.
Later, while PP was trying desperately to get dressed before being kicked out, DL shared with PP a cat comic she’d cut out of the paper, and they were laughing over the kitty with the grenades to impel his owner to feed him with much cat asides, and RDW, getting dressed at the locker next to them, grinned, “Y'all like lil’ kitties?”
“Oh, yes!” PP and DL had chorused.
“I got me a lil' kitty joke, it only take a minute.”
“Sure,” DL nodded, eyeing PP conspiratorially.
Sitting on one of the square wooden stools, now dressed in her tight blue jeans and white crocheted top, RDW began to chuckle and then dove in:
“There was this lil' kitty and he passed on and went to heaven….”
OH, NO! PP thought. Not a dead kitty! She couldn’t handle this.
But it was too late, DFW plowed on, “And when the lil' kitty got to heaven God said, You been such a good lil' kitty, you can have anything you want. What do you want? And the lil' kitty said, 'I like me a nice fluffy pillow.' And the Lord said, 'Okay, here you go', and gave the lil' kitty the nice fluffy pillow and the lil' kitty sat hisself right down and he really did enjoy that nice fluffy pillow the Lord gave him. And then the next day, a lil' mouse he died and went to heaven and when the Lord asked him 'What do you want if you could have anything?' and the lil' mousie said, 'I want me a pair of roller skates.'
And God said, “Roller skates? What you be wanting roller skates for?' And the lil mousie just shrugged and said, 'That’s what I want.You said I could have anything I want.' So the Lord said, 'Okay, and gave the lil mousie the roller skates and the lil mousie, he put them on and went skating all around the heavenly clouds.
And the next day, God was happenin' by the lil kitty on his fluffy pillow and he said, 'How’s everything going?' RDW paused for dramatic effect before delivering the punch line: DL and PP stood in kitty joke rapture. It was all too marvelous!
And the lil kitty said, ‘Great. Thanks a lot for The Meal on Wheels!'
PP, DL and RDW busted up just as the beautiful Tibetan Woman, frowning, tried to gather up their used towels from under their benches.
“That’s so funny!” PP laughed.
“Yeah!” RDW agreed, rising to gather her stuff, “That one was told me by a Senior Citizen!”
Laughing at this too, RDW turned and closed her locker, “Y’all have yourselves a good evening now!”
“Oh, we will!” DL and PP agreed, watching her shuffle slowly out of the locker room, her back still shaking with chuckles as she opened the heavy door to let herself out.
Later, walking up the stairs, DL whispered to PP, “That was worth the price of admission!”
“Oh, yeah," PP agreed, thinking how that lil' kitty had more than a lil' bit of the Red Devil in him as she followed DL out into the Oakland night.
Posted by Cj at 5:15 PM