Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Turd Alert!



Please!

PP did NOT just spy a Turd of Human Feces on the floor next to the toilet at the YMCA?

Of course, her first reaction was disbelief. How the hell could anyone leave a turd on floor next to the toilet? It was beyond her reality. She simply maintained Turd Denial for a few moments.

Then it was, what should she do? Run out and tell the Beautiful Tibetan Woman up at the front counter that there was a Turd on the floor in the Women's Locker room? Yeah, right. PP could just picture BTW wrinkling her pert little nose in horrific distaste before making the call to have someone go clean it up.

Yet, PP didn't do this. Mostly cause she was naked and really had to go to the bathroom, but also cause she didn't want the Y to get shut down by the Health Dept--Hell, turd or no turd, it was her only pool right now.

Plus, her mind started reeling....who could have done such an abdominal action? It wasn't like little kids were running around the women's locker room, wrecking their dastardly turdly havoc. No. The Y, thankfully, had a no kids policy in the women's locker room.

Thus, this left PP to surmise that it had to be someone she knew! Ugh!

The Usual Suspects were out in force today: Hot Tub Mama whining at PP cause she was ignored yesterday when HTM said 'Hi' to her. Hell, PP didn't want to get on her BAD side! Explained how she probably just had her earplugs in and didn't hear Hot Tub Mama's Heartfelt greeting.

Then there was Amazon Tree Woman explaining how to make the perfect moist bundt cake to Diabetes Woman.





Not to mention the usual line-up of crooked swimming Chinese Women in their skirted swim wear. And the usual walking wounded. Shriveled Up Lady with her equally wobbly friend guiding her to the pool in tiny hesitant steps. Bleached Blond Glasses in the Sauna woman, reading her book and striding about in regal nudity.

Hell, PP supposed that anyone of these women could have dropped The Turd, accidentally, of course. Not realizing that it fell just outside the toilet instead of inside.....

Disgusting! PP has to stop with the speculation now before she starts to get too queasy.

What would you have done?
No, don't answer that.

PP is just going to make a Bundt cake and watch 'Beauty and the Geek'.




It's the only answer. At least for now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hope PP posts another blog entry soon, so we regular fans don't have to smell that yucky (turd) pic on top. It even makes the delicious bundt cake look suggestive.
Meanwhile this just proves there are no limits to the daring hilarity of PP, always ready to surprise. Not even turds can scare us away.