Thursday, May 01, 2008

YOU CAN BUY CLARITY!





Settling into the warm cave of Utopia, PP and DL sigh in unified contentment. Closing her eyes, PP breathes in the dry heat. Tonight, though, there’s a lovely citrusy scent. “It smells so good in here,” she murmurs.

DL sighs, agreeing.

“It smells like lemons?” PP ventures.
“Or oranges?” DL offers.
“It’s actually called Ylang Ylang. You can buy it from Personal Product on-line,” an Authoritative Product Voice announces.




PP opens her eyes to glance across the sauna at the Voice. Damn if it isn’t Oblivious Mask Woman, stretching her scrawny form out on the redwood slab, inspecting her toes. (Which, by the way, DL had joked were crazy. Well, no, she didn’t exactly say that. When PP had asked DL if she’d seen the look in OMW’s eyes and seen that ‘crazy’ glassed over gaze, DL and giggled and said, “I can see IT in her toes!”)

Now, Crazy to her Toes, Oblivious Mask Woman was the authority on scent?

How delightful! She speaks! And with Information!

OMW Crazy to her Toes continues, “I usually can’t tolerate any scent, but this one I liked. It’s for Clarity.”

PP eyes widen. A scent for Clarity? Hell, she could use that! She was always in a fog. A little bottled Clarity might be just the ticket to help her usually hazy brain.

“A scent for Clarity?” PP questions out loud, as the woman lying supine in front of her grunts in amusement.
“Yes.” OMW nods, “You can buy Clarity.”





PP wonders how much Clarity costs. Is it something she can afford? Or is it out of her price range? Or out of her Credulity Range? She wonders if there are other scents for other calming emotions. Hell, such potions might be cheaper than Therapy!

“What other kinds of scents can you buy?” PP prompts.
“Oh, well…..” OMW continues to pick at something between her toes, as DL glances sideways over at PP, trying not to let a loud giggle out. “You can buy things like Arnica and……”OMW pauses, shifting, exchanging one foot for the other and begins to pick anew. “……but I don’t really like the smell of that one.”




”What’s it smell like?” PP asks.
“It’s kinda more like Eucalyptus and mint and it’s…..stronger….”
DL makes a face. “I don’t think I’d like that one.”
”No, me neither,” OMW agrees. “But in any case, this one here tonight is very nice. It’s very calming. But you can only get it on-line. It’s not available at Whole Foods or anyplace like that…..it’s part of the Professional Pyramid. The Professional Pyramid v. the Personal Pyramid.”

OMW stretches her stick-like legs out in calming relaxation, the Clarity Scent working its magic on her limbs.

PP glances over at DL. What the hell? Professional v. Personal Pyramid? But she can’t ask DL now with OMW present even though she’s dying to know what DL’s interpretation of this is. PP can’t imagine. She’s heard of Pyramid Schemes. But she’s never understood what these are. Something to do with scamming people out of their hard earned life savings with bogus investments that have nothing to do with Ancient Egypt.





Glancing over at DL, PP nods toward the garbled YMCA announcement bellowing outside Utopia about how the facility will be closing in 10 minutes. PP knows she better get to the showers. She is so damn slow. But the Calming Clarity Inertia is hard to break.

“You ‘bout ready?” PP asks DL.
“Yup,” DL grins, her dark eyes twinkling in delight.

“See you later,” DL calls out to OMW, who glances up for a moment, her foggy eyes unfocused behind her glasses.

Does she realize what she’s said? Does she have any idea of her momentous impact on PP’s blog?

PP guesses not as she and DL languidly make their way to the showers, discussions of Pyramid Possibilities and Clarity for Sale heavy in the steamy air.

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