Monday, March 10, 2008
The Power of Prayer
“I have the pain. From the period. I take Africa Medicine and put up my Vagina. It little seed. I put it up. And Poof! Pain is gone!” Diabetes Woman, aka GUW, nods with satisfaction at PP who grins, delighted with the Vagina Africa Medicine Story. The YMCA sauna, a.k.a. Utopia, is gonna be excellent today!
But PP doesn’t really get the story as attested by the buxom, dyed blonde African American Reclining Woman, who after hearing the Miraculous Account, affirms for them all loudly, “Praise the Lord!”
“Yes. He praise!” DW agrees, though PP thinks she probably has a different Lord, one who passes out Magical Vagina Seeds for cramps. PP sure wished she’d had some of these Magical Seeds 20 years ago when her cramps were so goddamn debilitating.
Where had DW been when she needed her? Probably back in Eritrea, birthing many babies and drinking sugary coffee.
”He has the Power, you know that, don’t you?” AARW asks as she rolls over, her brown folds deliciously falling.
“I know…. I know,” DW nods, as she continues to massage her languid breasts with some oddly mustardy green goo.
Yet, PP knows who has the Power round here, and it ain’t the Lord. At least not the Lord they’re talking about. No. The real Power belongs to Hot Tub Mama, who wasn’t around this evening, having been sorely disappointed earlier in the day.
“They no come,” HTM had lamented to PP earlier as she settled onto the too skinny white bench opposite the hot tub where PP, pleasantly post swim exhausted, floated. As soon as HTM uttered her heartfelt lament, PP got really scared cuz she knew exactly what HTM was talking about. And PP wasn’t even telepathic. At least she’d never thought so. Somehow reading HTM’s mind was esp. unnerving to her.
HTM looked like she was ready to cry. Or at least to let out a huge sigh, which turned out, she did. “They no come today,” she repeated.
PP nodded. She was talking, of course, about none other than the Hermaphrodite and her Masseuse. Damn! Too bad they weren’t around today. PP could really use a Part III to her blog!
But HTM’s disappointment was going to have to do. Along with PP’s telepathy.
"Maybe they'll come later?" PP ventured hopefully.
"No." HTM was adamant. "They come always at noon. Now it almost 3. They no come..."
"Too bad," PP offered as she climbed out of the tub.
HTM shrugged, then glanced over at the two Asian Women who were sitting on the bench next to her. "Hello!"
They both gave HTM a wary look.
"HELLO!" HTM hollared at them.
Frowning, one of the Asian Women picked up her towel and headed into the showers without answering, her friend following.
HTM shrugged. Then settled down into some serious staring into space.
PP grinned as she heard singing echoing from the locker room. “Ohhhh Happy Day! Ohhh….Haaaapppyyyy Day!”
Smiling to herself, PP nodded toward Disappointed HTM, as she headed to the bathroom stalls. Now, in the stall next to her, PP heard an unabashed explosion, then an answering refrain, ”THANK YOU JESUS!”
PP couldn’t help herself; started laughing aloud, her laughter drowned out by another astonishing explosion followed by more thanks to the Son of God.
His Power was everywhere, PP mused, thinking how politically incorrect or even blasphemous her blog was gonna be.
Hell, maybe if HTM had used a bit more Prayer Power, the Hermaphrodite and her Masseuse woulda shown up.
Or maybe not.
Maybe the Africa Medicine was the ticket.
If you had a Vagina.
Or even if you didn’t.
Either way, Praise the Lord!
Posted by Cj at 5:08 PM