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Showing posts from January, 2007

Homage to Mina Loy, the Queen of Tortoiseshells

I don’t know if there are pools in kitty heaven, cuz we all know that most cats don’t like to swim, but if there are, Ms. Mina is up there lounging around on her kitty fish shaped air mattress floating over a blue blue pool full of lots of tasty fishies of all varieties and colors: big yellow fish, small green fish, round red fish, and of course, lots of shrimp! All of these fish are so easy for her to eat since she’s in kitty swimming pool fish heaven. They all just leap out of the pool and land smartly on her kitty plate balanced on her kitty air mattress where she can chomp them down at her will.

Then, of course, there are lots of other swimming and floating kitties in and around the pool for her to lord over. She is after all, the Queen Cat! These kitties all adore her and submit to her every whim, especially if she feels like batting them around or ordering up some cream! They hop to it pronto for her, bringing her bowls of rich cream or nudging her with their kitty heads so she…

THE SECRETS OF HAPPY SWIMMERS

“Hey, did you guys hear the news about Chlorine and Water?” The Lovely I’s girlfriend settles into the Hot Tub between PP and Lovely I.
The tub’s full of regulars—Muscular Real Estate Guy, Intellectual Russian Scholar Turned Tech Writer, the Lovely I and her GF, and Pool Puss.

We all shake our heads at LIGF’s question. But PP ventures a guess in a generalized depressing way. ‘It’s something bad, isn’t it?”
LIGF shakes her head. Sighs. “Yeah, I saw on CNN that chlorinated water causes a 50% increase in Bladder Cancer.”
Great. Why is everything cancer cancer cancer???!!! PP is so godamn sick of cancer. She’s already taking a risk swimming here in the late afternoon before 4 p.m. cuz Mills closes at 3:45and her dermatologist had said to avoid the sun between 10 & 4. So,her swim is fraught with worry about the sun and cancer. Now she has to worry about the goddamn water and cancer, too?

Shit!

Intellectual Russian Scholar shakes her head and pronounces, “It’s a very rare cancer.”
Everyone n…

THE SWIMMING CURE

“Wow! It’s great to see you! Haven’t seen you in ages!” Mighty Small Strong Woman grins and stretches, catlike, as Pretty French Teacher plops happily into the hot tub.
“Yeah. I haven’t been in like a year.”
“You mean this year? 2007?”
“No…no….”PFT shrugs shyly. “All year….last year….I was hoping that I’d still see some regulars around.”
“Yeah, we’re still here. But what’s up? Is everything ok?”
PFT puts on a happy smile, but MSSW knows it’s a cover. Stares at her seriously.
“Well….it’s been kinda a tough year…..”
“Really? You ok?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine…..but my boyfriend… he’s been pretty sick.”
“He’s gonna be ok, isn’t he?”
“We hope so. He’s on the upswing…. I mean…..he does have Lung Cancer….” PFT shakes her dark wet hair sadly.
“Damn! How old is he?”
“35.”
“Shit….was he a smoker?”
“When he was younger.”
“Weren’t we all!” MSSW chuckles in morbid sympathy.
“Exactly….but the doctors were flabbergasted when the cancer was finally diagnosed. At first they thought he just had bronchitis so they gave hi…